Who are infinite dreamers?

“Dreams are the recipe to our passion, our actions are the ingredients.”


Infinite dreamers are exceptional people. They’re the most interesting people. They’re the ones that generate the most passion in their lives; they're the happiest; the ones that have the most fun and generally the ones that take more risks for achievement. Being an infinite dreamer takes a lot of dedication because of the negative influences that surround them. Those that stray away from the negativity are the ones that have the best imagination. They become the best dreamers. The truth is; we all have the ability to become infinite dreamers.

In my years as a motivator I’ve heard every excuse when it comes to failed dreams. From lack of time and commitment to lack of passion and interest, and everything in between. I’ve heard it all. When talking about the difference between dreaming and non-believing, almost every time it comes down to imagination. Near one hundred percent of all millionaires are dreamers.They have wonderful imaginations.

Dreams give us freedom. They generate a playground for our thoughts. They're the recipe to passion. Dreamers are those who believe anything is possible. They’re the ones dedicated to their craft. Dreamers are the ones that break away from negativity when it persists. They’re the ones that imagine their days ahead of time, and they never falter around obstacles because they’re confident in their abilities. They set their goals strong, further than most would because their imagination serves them confidence. Dreaming is what makes people feel alive.

Where do dreams come from? Dreams come in all different shapes and sizes. Some say they come from Angel’s in the sky, while others try to prove there’s the great Law of Attraction at hand. It doesn’t matter how our dreams get inside our heads, the important thing is that we use them to enjoy our lives. A dream is strong enough to move mountains. It’s greater than the ability of a freight train. Dreams have led to major innovations and technological advances. They've led to landing people on the Moon and other major accomplishments. They’ve brought us the ability to solve health cures. They’re literally miracles in the making. The truth is; if you cannot visualize it, it will be impossible to bring to fruition.Become a dreamer and never let rejection overcome your goal, regardless of what it is. Don’t let anyone discourage you. Dreamers create endless opportunities.



Strategy:

Visualize your most ideal lifestyle. Imagine the happiest environment. Take your daydream and explore every aspect of its presence. In this dream where do you live? Where do you work? How much money do you make? What types of coworkers do you work with? What types of relationships serve you? Be as detailed as possible. Delve deep into this visualization exercise. Be aware of everything that surrounds you, including the city you live in and the friends you hang around with. Pay attention to the small facts too, like the hours you work each day and how long your commute to work is each morning. The simple details help us form the most infinite dreams.

Start a journal and write down your infinite dream. Describe your emotions as well. How do you feel as you live your dream? You may want to start with a simple point form description at first, then you can work it into a more formal story later. Writing your thoughts can act as incredible inspiration. Revisiting your daydream often will allow you to bring it to fruition quicker.

"Nothing great can be achieved without first dreaming about it.”

Eliminating habits and the backfire effect

Habits are a big part of our lives. We all have them. The truth about them is; they serve no purpose for us. We are blinded by the small initial satisfaction we get when we succumb to their desires. We get let down after this initial satisfaction when we shame ourselves for doing it in the first place. We later fall prisoner to them because they eventually dwindle our lives down to nothing. The reality is; we know our addictions are there, but we don't do anything to get rid of them because they serve a small amount of comfort (for a split second).

Think about all the various but common habits - smoking cigarettes, shopping, eating sugar, scrolling our news feeds, etc., they all serve the exact same feelings. Habits are addictions. They're all the same in the realm of the amount of destruction they do to our lives. No one addiction is superior. They're all the same.

I often write about habits and their destructive nature because I've gone into great depths to seek their reasoning in our lives. I've seen highly addicted people surpass their addictions and become true wholesome great people. It is possible to eliminate any given habit, no matter what the circumstance. Now that we've discussed the nature of habits and their role in our lives I want to share my thoughts on the opposite side of the equation - eliminating them.

Obviously, eliminating any given habit will increase your happiness. There are some backfires however when overcoming one. For example; often times people replace a habit when they get rid of one. A smoker might eat food during their regular scheduled smoke break at work (rather than smoke cigarettes). This is merely to replace the comfort the smoker once received and looked forward to. I gave up smoking cigarettes but I became glued to my phone. I needed something to replace my comfort of smoking, so I latched onto my phone. Now I can't put it down. This has caused an ever bigger issue with my personal life compared to smoking (without mentioning the obvious health effects of smoking) because now I spend less quality time with my daughters at home - I'm glued to my phone. My phone addiction has now surpassed where my smoking addiction ever was.

I want to send an important message about eliminating habits and the after-effects when you do so, like the one mentioned. Be aware that you may replace the habit with another one. It's our bodies way of defending the discomfort of not being addicted anymore. A friend of mine was a heavy drug and alcohol user. He replaced his addiction of chugging beers with that of chugging triple-triple coffee's. He drinks at least six a day. Obviously, coffee is a healthier addiction (you would think), but recently he was diagnosed with stage two diabetes.

Our addiction/habits are self-defeating prophecies. They serve no purpose for us, yet we continuously become blinded by their deceit. Don't let them ruin your life anymore. Decide to eliminate them for good. But, remember the backfire affect.

I'm going to make a vow to myself right now - to not visit social media for the next 48 hours. I believe I'll realize how damaging my phone addiction was. I also believe I'll get to enjoy my family more. Any posts on my social media for the next 48 hours should only be the ones I have scheduled to post.

I'll see you in 49 hours ;)

The origin of your beliefs

Our beliefs are derived from our past experiences and from our closest influences. Each of us goes through different experiences in life which means that our own individual beliefs are unique to ourselves. No other human being has the exact same beliefs to the exact same degree. In fact, each experience in life potentially alters our perceptions of the way we see reality. When we go through negative experiences, it automatically alters the lens we see the world through. This lens can become quite tainted with impurities over a period of time. These impurities force us to become anxious with ourselves, frustrated with life, and actually strengthen and become more forceful within your mind over the years. This creates nasty mental problems and disables us to live life to its fullest. It also prevents us from achieving happiness in any form and grounds us from attaining the goals and ambitions that serve within our minds. It’s important to locate these impurities as soon as possible so you can proactively work towards eliminating them altogether. Once eliminated, new positive beliefs can be formed.

Many of the beliefs that we harness as adults were formed within the first stages of our lives. Our parents, Grandparents, friends and siblings, Aunts and Uncles, and a variety of other influences contributed to the formation of our early beliefs. When we come into the world as children we know no different. Until we reach an age where we realize we can modify our own beliefs, we simply latch onto the beliefs of our everyday influences. Many of us harness the same types of beliefs as our parents because they were our biggest influences in our lives. Many times, these beliefs strengthen as we grow older because we haven’t latched onto new more empowering beliefs. For example: many of the fears that we have as adults are similar to the fears that our parents had. We’ve simply gravitated towards their fears because that's all we've experienced. Perhaps these fears have grown throughout our lives, even though we rarely experience them. Over the years, we’ve literally become our influences. We’ve been molded to repeat similar actions as they did, and we’ve even been guided along a similar life path too. In fact, it isn’t uncommon for a child to follow similar roles in the workplace as their parents. It’s what they’ve been accustomed to, and our parents know no different because that’s what they’re used to. In fact, anger, hatred, abuse and many other damaging emotions are also taught by our superiors. We absorb a lot of our parents beliefs. More than you may realize. The good news is that you need no longer be consumed by any limitations, any hurtful emotions or any self-defeating beliefs that you’ve learned in the past. You have the power within yourself to be who you want to be.

Creating an optimal mindset that’s fueled with passion, happiness and compassion takes dedication. There are literally hundreds of different labels, beliefs and emotional attachments that we’ve absorbed throughout our lives. Yes, genetics do play a role in the growth of our human characteristics, however, your mind is singly controlled by you and nobody else. This means that you control what type of information encrypts your mindset. You have the ability to make positive changes to your beliefs.

Throughout the years, we’ve become seasoned to believe that we’re not good enough to achieve our desires. This was simply brought on by factors relating to failure, mistakes and abuse within our lives. Other factors contribute to this; however, the painful memories of early childhood experiences still seem to bring up feelings of dissatisfaction. As mentioned, our beliefs are derived from the beliefs of others. It’s important to grasp onto the beliefs that suit your lifestyle. Everyone is unique in their own way. We all want different desires in life. It’s important to gravitate towards the beliefs that support your desires. You aren’t your past! There’s no reason to hold onto any ill or negative beliefs at all. Ill beliefs simply create a false sense of who you are and act as a barrier between ourselves and our goals in life.

When we reflect upon the origin of our thoughts and beliefs, we become to realize that not only did our beliefs derive from our closest influences (our parents, friends, peer groups and the like); they’re also compiled from other various mental influences like television, radio, billboards and other advertisements. In fact, studies have shown that the average person is prone to literally thousands of advertisements per day. These advertisements are filled with mental garbage that promises satisfaction and contentment upon purchasing their products. People who see these advertisements are sold on the fact that they will feel happier, content and less stressed upon purchasing their brands; however, most times, they just leave us wanting more and make us feel more dissatisfied with ourselves. Their advertisements include subliminal messages that weaken our esteem and make us feel inadequate, which ultimately leads to more negativity and disappointment. They make us feel like we need their products to feel happy again, or they make us believe that happiness lies within a simple click of the mouse on our computers. We are perfectly fine with what we have. In fact, we need to eliminate the feelings of inadequacy and start appreciating what we already have. We need to shut out the negative influences that taint our beliefs, and we need to latch onto the positive beliefs that empower us. The truth is; when you realize how grateful you are for what we already have, you will become a lot less focused on everyone else and become a lot more committed within.

In addition, some of our beliefs come from spirituality or religious domains. I won’t touch too much on this topic because I expressed all my thoughts in my first book The Next Chapter. There are literally hundreds of different religions, if not thousands among us. These religions were based on various beliefs to help their members bring on spiritual enlightenment. However you formed your beliefs it's important to know that you are the one that calls the shots within your life. You are the one that is in charge of the way you live your life. There are potentially thousands of different answers to some of the most profound questions in our lives, not just one. Knowing this important fact can act as encouragement to seek the right life path; the one with beliefs that are right for you!

Being Enlightened

The term enlightenment was derived in the early thirteen hundred’s. It’s an English word that was coined to express a spiritual awakening. It’s also described as “the end of suffering.” To be truly enlightened, one must search deep within their spiritual selves. Nobody can force enlightenment upon another individual. It must be done in collaboration with pure thoughts and meditation. An individual’s body must be at peace in a positive environment to bring it to fruition. The fullest form of enlightenment generally comes after a person has eliminated all reoccurring thoughts within their mind; they are still and at peace with themselves, and have deleted any possible forms of negativity surfacing their mind. True enlightenment is an incredible feeling. It instantly makes you feel compassionate towards others and brings powerful confidence to ones psyche.

Enlightenment comes to those who are completely at ease with their mind; with absolutely no ill feelings whatsoever about themselves or towards anyone else; with zero hatred, remorse, regret or dissatisfaction in their lives. It comes to those who have one hundred percent full control over their thoughts. Those that can control their minds to think positively and eliminate the negativity. It comes to inspired minds and to those that have found their passion. In fact, enlightenment comes in a variety of methods. Most importantly, it comes to those that wish to find it.

I’ve been pursuing enlightenment for many years. Earlier on, I didn’t believe it was possible to accomplish; to be enlightened. I assumed I just had to deal with what was presented to my mind. In fact, I didn’t realize that I had full control over my moods either. Complete peace within my mind sounded foolish, and to be able to control my inner emotions always seemed so intriguing yet near impossible. It wasn't until I saw proof. Actually, I read it in a book. My inspiration came from scriptures of Buddhist monks that described their own experiences in becoming enlightened. Some worked very hard on training their mind to reach full enlightenment. In fact, they served almost every waking hour of their days training their minds to eliminate the bad and bring in only the good. They sat in silent chambers for years trying to unleash their inner happiness. Their accounts shared that happiness wasn't brought by external things.It wast their minds served them everything they needed to be truly happy people. This showed me dedication and perseverance. It radiated affection and brought me in close enough to strive for the same. It was impressive to see how dedicated they were to reach such a goal. In fact, they brought themselves to be the best, most positive individuals possible. Their ambition sparked interest for me to to follow suit. It made me seek the inner desire to become the most pure, happy and content individual that I could be.

Being truly enlightened is a wonderful feeling. The best way I can describe the experience is feelings of satisfaction, joy, happiness, and contentment all at once, mixed with a little fantasy. It's truly living in the moment one hundred percent. Being enlightened is brought on by those who take it seriously. It cannot be forced, nor can it be released in a negative environment. It can be produced over and over again with dedication. In fact, many people claim to experience enlightenment for great lengths of time. Even though it takes strength of the mind to be achieve but even the weakest minds have found it.

I encourage you to try.

Increased confidence

Your imagination is the breeding ground for happiness. Confidence is the driving force behind your imagination. Being diligent in cultivating strong confidence will ensure you’ll be a happy player in the game of life.

I believe confidence is the most underrated characteristic in life. Without it your life stays stagnant and under developed. But, who’s to blame; they don’t teach about confidence in the regular school curriculum, do they?

Often times, lack of confidence comes from continuous negative self-talk. Generally, this negative discussion stems from actions or words transferred from other people. Unfortunately, this type of interaction only serves as a roadblock from achieving your ideal lifestyle. The good news is; once this issue is determined YOU have the opportunity to alter your perspective.

Exercise: Eliminate the negative self-talk
How often do you tell yourself you aren’t good enough? How often do you let your (or other people’s) words discriminate against your passion and hobbies? How do you feel when you give up on your passions? How long have you felt this way for? You need to end this negative self-talk right now. It’s not helping you achieve anything but a mediocre lifestyle.
Negative self-talk is usually derived from neighboring beliefs of your ancestors and closest influences. They engrained this negative self-talk into your mind earlier than you can probably remember. Without realizing it you held onto these self-defeating thoughts well into your adult life, and you never understood why your life is still mediocre because you keep reiterating them over and over. The good news is; there’s plenty of ways to eliminate the negative self-talk that dwindles your life’s mission.

Write a journal
Step one: Start writing a journal. You probably have a half-empty pad of paper lying somewhere around your house just waiting to be used. Over a series of five days I want you to spend at least fifteen minutes per day on this exercise. Each day jot down three negative statements you believe about yourself. Write with as much detail as possible. The details help with visualization. Examples: There’s no point taking my hobbies to the next level because my uncle told me it wasn’t realistic, or There’s no way I can become a ___________, my father told me I wasn’t very smart.
Often times, we have no idea we harness these negative qualities. This exercise will help you spot each of them. The truth is; nothing can be changed unless it’s spotted first. Each negative statement engrained in your mentality is taking away from the ideal perspective.

Step two: After the fifth day you’ll have a total of fifteen negative statements written down. You may not realize you actually harness fifteen negative statements in your mentality, but I guess you’ll see in five days. You probably have more than that. Either way, the best thing you can do is start the process of elimination. Writing them down will allow you to see them, feel them and relieve them. Writing really is a great tool to relieve stresses and anxiety. It allows you to tap into your imagination.
Pick one of the fifteen and work your way down the list one-by-one. When you see the statement written down delve deep into your inner emotions and feel the statement. Write down the emotions you feel when you say the statement aloud. Now read the statement five times simultaneously. Feel the same emotions you felt when you last said the statement. As you experience these emotions over and over your body and mind will generate an immunity to them. Soon the immunity will make you feel comfortable to tweak the statement to one that suits your current lifestyle; a more positive one.

Your negative self-talk can easily be eliminated. You first need to find it. Now go and find that half-used journal under the couch. You’ll be amazed how far you can tweak your perspective, simply by journaling your thoughts.

Knowing your self worth

Bullying is an issue that we’ve been dealing with for Centuries. My father, his father, even my great Grandfather experienced it. We all experience it in some way, at some point in our lives. Some experience it in school as a youthful teenager, while others experience it at home in a nasty relationship, or even in the work place. Neither of us are immune to it. It happens on the streets, it happens at soccer practice, and it happens to the people that you'd least expect. Bullying is a term that is commonly misconceived as a random playground mishap, but it's so much more than that. It tears apart a person’s confidence, it rapes them of their courage and it causes serious psychological affects if not dealt with properly. To a Police officer bullying is no different than assault, abuse or harassment. I've seen it happen at schools, many times. In fact, I've heard countless stories about it. I've even experienced it myself. Bullying is like a plague that keeps circulating through our communities. It generates quickly and it comes with an incredible force that sets you back instantly. If a person experiences too much of it, they’re at an even higher risks of serious health problems.

In my experience as a motivator to high school students I've seen bullying take people in drastic measures. It's effects can lasts well into adulthood. In fact, I've seen grown adults with poor self-esteem experiencing nasty health problems because of it. Tremendous amounts of guilt and shame can well inside of a bullied victim for years if not dealt with properly. It can be detrimental to a person's life plan.  It's simply not a laughing matter.

Eliminating the abuse within your life will drastically increase your self-worth. It will help increase your confidence and it will make you feel more important to society. Having a strong level of confidence will help you overcome any negativity. By increasing your self-worth, you're changing the way you see the World entirely. It all starts with associating yourself around healthy relationships. Who are the people that you associate with? Who are the friends you hang around with? Who are your influences? Who are the people you’re taking advice from? The people in your life will either make you or break you. Are they taking more than they're giving back? Are they good-willed, positive people, or do they drag you down and defeat you?

You are an important person who matters! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

A lesson on belief and taking action

Over the years, I’ve grown new perceptions of how the World really works. In fact, I’ve continuously studied people; how they think, and how they react to the environment around them. My conclusions are astounding. As a matter of fact, I learned that people who are happy; those who find their inner happiness, and those who bring out the positive in negative situations, generally took more action with their lives. They built the courage inside to take charge of their lives, rather than those who constantly fought against their own happiness by always thinking in negative terms. I've realized that those who were generally positive thinkers had a stronger belief system.

Belief and action are two important fundamentals that one must instill in order to achieve success. Far too often I have talked with friends or family members, and as they tell me passions and inspirations, they continue to tell me how lazy they are, or they make excuses as to why they don’t take action. They seem to never experience the fruits of life. In fact, their stories tell the exact opposite. If they were to reach a little further, perhaps step outside of their comfort zones and grasp onto opportunities with a more positive mindset, they would live a joyous life, but no matter what you tell them they remain in a negative state. Let me tell you this; without a positive belief comes zero action.

How do you react when the environment provides you with an opportunity? What beliefs are you feeding your mind? Are your thoughts dragging you down and making you lazy?

All too often, we remain grounded in reality because of the illusion of our limitations. Our limitations hold us back from wanting more. They make us lazy feeling defeated and make us sleep longer. They deplete our self-worth, and we lose our imagination in the process, forgetting what’s truly important. Don't let this happen to you. Create a solid belief system by eliminating your negative beliefs one at a time. Start thinking positive in every situation, and believe in yourself! Doing so will allow you to take action towards your passions without procrastinating.

Giving to others

All my life I’ve fathomed being in the limelight. Since a young age, I’ve been fascinated by celebrity. For some reason I’ve believed that celebrities live better than typical civilians. Maybe it was in the advertisements. The perfection was easy to see. It always seemed like they had something the rest don’t. They had to; it showed in their smiles, through their crafts and passions, in magazines and television ads. I then realized it was all in the hands of marketing gurus that place a synthetic image of what celebrity entails. As a matter of fact, I was so enthralled with becoming a celebrity that I went to great depths trying to learn about it from every aspect. I wanted to see if they truly did live better lives than us. I wanted to see if they truly were happier people. My findings are quite interesting.

I can assure you celebrity isn’t what it seems to be. It’s not exactly how they paint it on your television screen. In fact, in my trek to becoming a limelight sensation I’ve come across numerous celebrities from all walks in the entertainment industry. Back in my twenties my main focus was studying celebrity. I read countless biographies and even moved to Toronto, Vancouver and Los Angeles to find it. My research showed only more frustration, less privacy and less time to do what you really want to do. I found the majority of celebrities are less than satisfied people. They’re constantly on the watch; every time they leave their household they’re watched. Heck, they’re even videotaped and photographed while they’re in their homes. What I did learn was this; almost every celebrity I came across stated that the most important quality needed to reach true lasting happiness is giving to others.



Exercise: Give to others

There’s a lot of happiness in giving to others. There have actually been studies done on the effects after giving to others. These tests recorded the types of feelings one has when they help another person. The results are quite shocking. In fact, they’ve concluded that endorphins and other feel-good receptors are released into the bloodstream at a rapid rate after doing good for society. I believe giving to others happens to be the most over looked quality in the human race.

In your journal jot down a list of seven things you can do good for society. This exercise will take some visualization. By now you should be a near expert. Think of the things you can do to help a family member in need, or the neighbor across the street, or the friend that’s heartbroken. It doesn’t matter who you’re doing the random act of kindness for, you just need to have a clear idea what each good deed is. Think of the simple things you can do, like shoveling someone’s walkway without telling them, or offering to babysit somebody’s kids knowing they need a break, or simply bringing coffee and doughnuts into the office. Each small good deed will go a long way, especially if it isn’t expected. Try to make them more in depth than just holding a door open for someone. The larger the deed the more you’ll benefit. Once you have your list of seven, assign a weekday to accomplish each of them. This exercise will take some time and physical effort of your end, so be ready for it. Each day for the next full week enlist yourself to accomplish one good deed off the list. This will fill your Karma bank with funds that’ll propel your happiness quickly.



Exercise 2: Build your Karma bank

Karma means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering. Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in many schools of Asian religions. In these schools, karma in the present affects one's future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives.

I like to explain Karma the following way. Each of us has a Karma bank (account). It works the exact same way as your typical bank account however the transactions are in the irony of the decisions you make in your life. For example: if you make a negative decision in life you’ll instantly withdraw from your Karma account. The opposite is true when you do something good for society in a positive way. When this happens you actually make a deposit into your Karma account. The more you have banked in your Karma account the more benefits you’ll reap in life. If you’re in need for positive reinforcement due to a catastrophic life event however don’t have sufficient funds in your Karma account there’s very little the environment around you can help you with. If however your Karma statement shows a surplus in Karma when you’re facing a difficult life situation there’s plenty of possibilities the environment will help you with. Just like your life savings, it’s important to always be in the positive with your Karma account. Life starts to get pretty risky when your Karma account is in the overdraft.  There are plenty of ways you can increase your Karma account. Doing anything good for society or giving to others is the easiest way to increase it.

Making it count

Happiness isn’t something that stays maintenance-free. There’s actually quite a bit of effort needed on your end to keep it active. Happiness is like a nice chizzled body; without consistent maintenance and a direct focus on strengthening it it’s going to lose its strength and effectiveness. When happiness persists make it count because not every day will be a happy one. Happiness is something that should be cherished and taken advantage of, not taken for granted. When happiness enters your life be sure to make the most of it. Use it as leverage to make your dreams come true. And, be sure to encourage those around you to be happy too. Happiness is easiest celebrate when there’s others around to appreciate it.

Make your happiness count by making the most of it. Relish in the excitement when it’s present because often times our lives are anything but happy. It’s the happy times that make us realize life is worthwhile. Spending time with our children, friends and family are what make us happy. Achieving goals and working towards our passions are what makes us happy. Living in the moment is what makes us happy. These are all great ways to make the most of your life.

Make it count by accomplishing something you never thought was possible. Follow your ambitions and work towards the imagination you used to visualize when you were younger. The one you gave up on after being discriminated against. Let go of the limitations you previously held in the perspective of life that was passed down to you by your relatives. Make it count by sharing the happiness with those around you; those who are worthy of sharing it with. Your life is waiting to experience happiness in abundance. The type of happiness that brings a lasting smile. The kind of happiness that drives friendships closer, and the realm of happiness that makes you feel like you’re at the height of the world.

Enjoy the ride

All too often we get caught up in the results when developing our dreams. We forget that the best part of the experience is the process itself.

The first step in achieving anything, aside from imagining it, is taking action. Many miss out on the actual “happy” part of the experience when they do take action because they’re blinded by their future expectations. They feel that accomplishment equals happiness, and anything less is sub-par. There’s actually quite a bit of happiness within our goals – not only when they’re reached, but when you’re reaching them.

Enjoy the ride when in pursuit towards happiness. There’s a ton of untapped happiness within your journey to reaching your goals. Your inspiration will perspire when you do. Often times, we reach a goal and become disappointed, or we get afraid of the future because we haven’t enlisted any new goals. Find the happiness that resides in your everyday experiences on the journey to your ideal lifestyle, rather than just focusing on the end result, otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be eighty years old in your rocking chair wishing you had have appreciated, respected and enjoyed the ride.

Enjoying the ride is like living in the moment. The more you practice it the happier you’ll be.



Exercise: Eliminating the need to be perfect

Society teaches us less than perfection is weak. We see television ads every day that “guarantee” a better life upon purchasing their products. The images portrayed in these commercials show youthful, hard-bodied individuals with perfect white teeth and extremely well dressed. What they don’t show in these ads are the numerous plastic surgeries these models have had, or the amount of money they spent on facial and body products to make them look this good, or their intense workout regimen. They paint a solid picture that nothing but perfection should be accepted. This, of course, reiterates a message that reaches our youth in a negative way. It depletes their values and deflates their ambition. It makes them feel less than adequate. Our youth aren’t only the ones affected by them. In fact, all of humanity is affected. It isn’t only television commercials that are the concern. This delves deep into the marketing budgets of the top executives that spend billions of dollars on understanding the psychology of consumers. This gives them leverage over us because their marketing dollars tell them exactly where we live, what we buy, what we do, what our interests are, etc. All too often we get blinded by our need to be and look perfect. Our beliefs are set to think that happiness resides in the purchases we make. After the blindness sets in we get disappointed by our purchases because they failed to serve us the type of happiness the radio ads promised.

Don’t get sucked in the realm of unhappiness by following the crowd. Nobody needs anything that’s advertised on television. Nobody! Materialism is just a quick fix to our unhappiness because the more you own means more possibilities of things breaking. Think about it; if you owned a ten thousand square foot mansion, had a collection of fifteen cars, had eleven children and managed ten companies, there’s a good chance you would get extremely overwhelmed. Often times, more things just means more dissatisfaction. This is an example where abundance isn’t always the best.

Commercials are a part of the plague that ruins our society. They’re filled with negative messages that deplete our happiness, and they do nothing but make us feel inadequate. Don’t let them plague your mind and forget about what’s truly important. Perfection only distracts you from enjoying the ride. Stop believing you need to be perfect in any area of your life. I can surely tell you that nobody’s perfect. I can personally attest that even though I’ve been a motivational speaker for over fifteen years, I am not perfect nor will I ever be. The same goes with anything in my life. The same goes with you too. Neither of us are perfect in any way. If something seems perfect it just means you’re not seeing the imperfections underneath. Imperfections are the beauty in life. You just need to see them that way.

Pay attention to how many advertisement you come across in the next few days that portray perfection. How many of their messages subliminally tell you you’re going to be happier after purchasing their products or services? A simple count will suffice. This is a simple exercise to help you realize how much of our mind is influenced to think in the realm of perfection.

What do you want?

This may seem like a simple question to answer, but it’s actually the most difficult.
In less than sixty seconds answer the following question. What do you want in life? I want you to include an answer for each of the following: what do you want in business/career, your personal life, within your passions/hobbies and health.

Very few can answer this question with much detail in less than a minute. The primary reason is because it’s not a very common question. When was the last time you were asked this question? Exactly. The second reason is due to not knowing yourself well enough to confidently answer it. Either way, if you can’t answer this question in less than sixty seconds, with a clear perspective on what you truly want, then you definitely need to strengthen your happiness muscle.
I want your focus to be less materialistic and more heartfelt when dealing with this exercise. A morbidly great way to find the type of happiness you’re looking for is by writing your own eulogy.

Exercise: What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?
Fortunately, to this date, I haven’t been to too many funerals. I rarely feel comfortable at funerals, to be honest. When I was younger my body would clam up as soon as I walked into the funeral parlour because it was tough to adjust to all the different emotions floating around the room. After my favorite Aunt passed away I realized that death is just a part of reality. I knew I needed to learn to live with it. One of the easiest ways at looking at death, I found, is by looking at the hearty life they lived while they were alive. For this exercise I want you to imagine yourself at your own funeral.
Imagine yourself waking up in the morning. You’re lying still in your bed quietly absorbing the peaceful environment. The room is silent, not a peep is heard. It’s as though your senses are mostly impaired, but life to you feels good. As you lay there you hear a male voice through a microphone, but you can’t quite distinguish who is speaking. Shortly after, your vision becomes clearer and you stare at the ceiling above. It looks different though – something you’re not used to seeing. You soon realize you’re in a different building altogether. You start smelling candles burning. The aroma of burning wax fills the air. As you continue to lay there motionless you become a part of the moment. Some would say you’re living in the moment – absorbing everything your senses take in. You decide to turn your head to the side. As you do, you notice a packed audience of two or three hundred people. Most of which are your closest friends and family members. The rest are acquaintances and distant relatives. It doesn’t take you long to realize you’re in a casket in a familiar local church, at your own funeral. At that moment a million things run through your mind. Images of all your loved ones flash before you. You question yourself; wondering if you gave your life your all. Hoping you spent enough quality time with your kids, and put enough in them before you passed away. As your judgement is clouded with questioning, the words spoken through the pa system vibrate into your mindset. You soon realize the person speaking through the microphone is your brother, father, or someone significant in your life. You hear his/her words, and they’re filled with love, respect and appreciation. A smile runs from ear-to-ear.
What words do you hear?

This exercise includes your imagination and a lot of it. As you’re lying in your casket listening to the words through the microphone imagine what the overall message is saying. Be the script writer, and be the author of your own eulogy. What would you want others to say about you at your own funeral?
Imagine your funeral details. Who is present? What are they wearing? What kind of snacks are they serving? In fact, step outside of your casket and be a ghost at your own funeral. Walk around the audience and see their reactions to the words through the pa system. The more detailed you get the more practical this strategy becomes. The more you visualize something the more real it becomes.

Living in the moment

What I’ve learned from fatherhood is that time with family is precious. It wasn’t until after my second daughter was born until I saw how quickly my first daughter had grown. Luckily I made a pact with myself before I had children – to live in the moment when spending time with them. This is something I believe everyone should live by.

Unfortunately, children are neglected more today than ever before. The days where the Mother stayed at home raising the children while the Father made the living are over. Nowadays, Mothers are fighting to keep their families together. They themselves are working two part time jobs to fill the gap their husbands tiny pay cheques doesn’t cover. Our fast-paced environment has driven us to want more stuff which makes matters even worse. I won’t even get into the fact that materialism has taken over our values. Our perspective of reality has changed in the midst of all this.
After going through my divorce I realized that time at the office is overrated and there’s no happiness without family time. Family time can be quality time spent with friends as well. Spending quality time with anyone that makes you happy is worthwhile. Nature has taught us there’s no fruit without it.

During my first marriage I failed to realize that too much of my focus was spent at the office, and not enough was spent with my wife. In fact, that was the driving force behind our breakup. The second go-around in marriage reminded me how important family time is. Thus, making a pact with myself to live in the moment every time family is present. This tactic alone has brought my happiness level up tenfold.

Exercise: How often do you live in the moment?
Living in the moment allows you to feel content with the life you’re living. It enables you to see the pleasures of life that are normally overlooked. We’ve all heard the statement “Live in the moment,” but who actually tries it? How often do you live in the moment?
This exercise is a great way for you to see the value in the things around you that are often overlooked. You don’t necessarily need to journal your thoughts unless you would like to.
In a quiet comfortable place I want you to prepare yourself for meditation. This means breathing exercises need to be implemented first. As your breaths become long, and your mind and body are at a relaxed state I want you to fully live in the moment. Feel the moment; be a part of it, and appreciate it. You do not have to close your eyes for this exercise, but you can do so if you would like. With all your senses try to be in the moment as much as possible. That means to smell, taste and see the environment around you. I want you to particularly take notice of the things you wouldn’t normally focus on. Things like the flowers in the garden, the warm air blowing your hair, the perfection of the bugs crawling around the pavement, or anything that your senses are attracted to.
If you’re writing your experience down on paper be sure not to spend too much time on writing. I prefer you spend more time on the actual visualization part of the exercise itself.
As you’re examining the environment around you breathe in the smells of whatever is around you. Hear the sounds that around you. Feel the texture of your fingertips. Try to absorb as much as you can. Appreciate the moment in any manner possible, and be grateful for the experience of life itself. There’s no better way to experience happiness than actually living in the moment. Repeat this exercise as much as you can. Life spent in the moment is better than any other.

Materialism; how important is it to you?

I grew up in a large family with two older brothers and two younger sisters. Despite the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was a young child, we’ve been a very close knit family since and keep in touch often. This type of family culture has not only created ease for me and my siblings; it has generated feelings of compassion for family get-togethers and has made us believe that anyone can get along no matter what circumstances prevail.  Unfortunately, many families don’t get to experience that same type of culture. In fact, it can be quite difficult for broken families to re mend the loss of some of its best qualities after a separation occurs. Understanding how close our family has become has made me grateful for being raised within it. Being a close knit family has allowed all family members to connect in a powerful way. I’ve learned many lessons through their experiences and through their guidance. In fact, I’m sure we’ve all taught each other a lesson or two throughout our lives. My observations over the years has taught me that each of us is driven by different motivations. For example: My oldest brother Shaine has interests in construction and building things, while my older brother Brock has interests in Policing. Whereas, I have very little interest in either of those careers. And, I'm quite confident they would say the same for my profession. We all have different factors that drive motivation. Another interesting thing that I learned through my siblings is the fact that each of us values money differently. These comparisons have led me to realize that the way we value money is equal to the value we place on ourselves.

Psychologists have studied the motivation and comparisons behind money and the human mind for years. It’s been known that money drives people in different ways. In fact, people generate different motivations for money as they progress through life. Our values, roles, beliefs and daily thoughts all contribute to our differentiating motivators of money and what it’s used for. Our definition of Money actually changes within our minds over time, and we associate different objects or meanings behind it through the process. There are a variety of different meanings for the term money. Most people associate money as a means to contribute to their current lifestyle – to pay the rising cost of living, or to provide for their families. There seems to be a general sense of what money means, however, after the obvious qualities are taken care of, we all seem to have different perspectives and varying beliefs of what it means to us, individually. We are motivated to spend it in different ways. Having a variety of different personalities roaming my household, including my parents and my brothers and sisters has allowed me to understand the differentiating factors behind the motivation of their spending habits. In fact, each of us spends money differently, which means that we not only have different beliefs about its purpose, but we also place different values upon ourselves.

Each of us wants different things in life. We desire different accomplishments and different experiences. This being said; each of us generates a different perspective of what creates ideal happiness. Many are driven to reach success if there is a financial pay-out for their efforts. They jump to the occasion even if it means overcoming obstacles and large fears. Money can be a great motivating factor. However, there are many other positive forms of motivation one can adhere to when accomplishing goals, like the motivation for accomplishment. Some may be strictly motivated to leave a mark on this Planet. Others may be motivated to travel or to raise a happy and healthy family. Again, each of us is motivated differently. The most common and rapidly growing motivators is materialism.

Money is needed to get by in society. We all know that. We all need jobs to keep up with the standard of living. Groceries are expensive, and gas prices I'd rather not even get into. Many fight “the ordinary” and find rewarding careers, or run successful businesses, all in all, the majority of us are working at our jobs or working away our careers for the financial benefit. The truth is; if the monetary system didn’t exist, our minds would be motivated by completely different factors. Perhaps the desire for passion, the desire of doing less work and spending more time with family, or even the desire to work in an industry that creates harmony for other cultures rather than the opposite more destructive society that we live in today. Maybe these things would create more joy in our minds.

Money represents so many different things to each of us. Often times, our views of money change as our values change, or as our friendships change. To some, it represents their hard work and accomplishments, whereas, for others, it represents security or financial wealth. Each of us defines money differently. In fact, The way we define money can tell us a lot about our beliefs. Your mind is a very powerful tool. It’s time to take advantage of its talents and use it to find the motivating factors behind your spending. Eliminate the negative attachments you hold against money and replace them with authority. No longer do you need to be ruled by your purchases. Companies want you to purchase their products, that's why they advertise the promise of satisfaction and relief. You’ll soon realize that beyond the purchase only lies resentment, high expenses and unhappiness. Plus, most of the time they never serve their promises of a simpler life upon the purchase.

Make a list of your daily purchases. Make note and take the time to find the motivation behind each purchase. Why do you purchase the things you do? Is it merely to relieve negative feelings inside your mind? Before the list is fully read you’ll have a clear understanding of where the motivation comes from. Once you find the motivating factors behind your purchases you can work towards eliminating your negative beliefs about money. Don’t succumb to any false advertisements or ill feelings of neediness. Only living in the moment can bring peace of mind and true lasting happiness.

It’s time to rid yourself of any ill associations of money and what it means to you. Negative associations will only lead to aggression in some form. Even though materialistic items may be fun to have, they’re merely there to keep the economy growing. Need I say again; inner peace only comes when one is content and happy with what they already have. True compassion is expressed when this is accomplished.

When you’re ready to search for the negative associations that you hold towards money, may I suggest the following exercise: Make a goal to eliminate all non-essential purchases. Every time your mind tells you to purchase something, ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” If it’s crucial for your survival definitely make the purchase; however, if the answer is, “Hell No, it’s not crucial for my survival,” then eliminate the thought altogether. It can be difficult to say No every time your eyes see something appealing, but it’s not impossible. It takes practice.

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