Increased confidence

Your imagination is the breeding ground for happiness. Confidence is the driving force behind your imagination. Being diligent in cultivating strong confidence will ensure you’ll be a happy player in the game of life.

I believe confidence is the most underrated characteristic in life. Without it your life stays stagnant and under developed. But, who’s to blame; they don’t teach about confidence in the regular school curriculum, do they?

Often times, lack of confidence comes from continuous negative self-talk. Generally, this negative discussion stems from actions or words transferred from other people. Unfortunately, this type of interaction only serves as a roadblock from achieving your ideal lifestyle. The good news is; once this issue is determined YOU have the opportunity to alter your perspective.

Exercise: Eliminate the negative self-talk
How often do you tell yourself you aren’t good enough? How often do you let your (or other people’s) words discriminate against your passion and hobbies? How do you feel when you give up on your passions? How long have you felt this way for? You need to end this negative self-talk right now. It’s not helping you achieve anything but a mediocre lifestyle.
Negative self-talk is usually derived from neighboring beliefs of your ancestors and closest influences. They engrained this negative self-talk into your mind earlier than you can probably remember. Without realizing it you held onto these self-defeating thoughts well into your adult life, and you never understood why your life is still mediocre because you keep reiterating them over and over. The good news is; there’s plenty of ways to eliminate the negative self-talk that dwindles your life’s mission.

Write a journal
Step one: Start writing a journal. You probably have a half-empty pad of paper lying somewhere around your house just waiting to be used. Over a series of five days I want you to spend at least fifteen minutes per day on this exercise. Each day jot down three negative statements you believe about yourself. Write with as much detail as possible. The details help with visualization. Examples: There’s no point taking my hobbies to the next level because my uncle told me it wasn’t realistic, or There’s no way I can become a ___________, my father told me I wasn’t very smart.
Often times, we have no idea we harness these negative qualities. This exercise will help you spot each of them. The truth is; nothing can be changed unless it’s spotted first. Each negative statement engrained in your mentality is taking away from the ideal perspective.

Step two: After the fifth day you’ll have a total of fifteen negative statements written down. You may not realize you actually harness fifteen negative statements in your mentality, but I guess you’ll see in five days. You probably have more than that. Either way, the best thing you can do is start the process of elimination. Writing them down will allow you to see them, feel them and relieve them. Writing really is a great tool to relieve stresses and anxiety. It allows you to tap into your imagination.
Pick one of the fifteen and work your way down the list one-by-one. When you see the statement written down delve deep into your inner emotions and feel the statement. Write down the emotions you feel when you say the statement aloud. Now read the statement five times simultaneously. Feel the same emotions you felt when you last said the statement. As you experience these emotions over and over your body and mind will generate an immunity to them. Soon the immunity will make you feel comfortable to tweak the statement to one that suits your current lifestyle; a more positive one.

Your negative self-talk can easily be eliminated. You first need to find it. Now go and find that half-used journal under the couch. You’ll be amazed how far you can tweak your perspective, simply by journaling your thoughts.

Knowing your self worth

Bullying is an issue that we’ve been dealing with for Centuries. My father, his father, even my great Grandfather experienced it. We all experience it in some way, at some point in our lives. Some experience it in school as a youthful teenager, while others experience it at home in a nasty relationship, or even in the work place. Neither of us are immune to it. It happens on the streets, it happens at soccer practice, and it happens to the people that you'd least expect. Bullying is a term that is commonly misconceived as a random playground mishap, but it's so much more than that. It tears apart a person’s confidence, it rapes them of their courage and it causes serious psychological affects if not dealt with properly. To a Police officer bullying is no different than assault, abuse or harassment. I've seen it happen at schools, many times. In fact, I've heard countless stories about it. I've even experienced it myself. Bullying is like a plague that keeps circulating through our communities. It generates quickly and it comes with an incredible force that sets you back instantly. If a person experiences too much of it, they’re at an even higher risks of serious health problems.

In my experience as a motivator to high school students I've seen bullying take people in drastic measures. It's effects can lasts well into adulthood. In fact, I've seen grown adults with poor self-esteem experiencing nasty health problems because of it. Tremendous amounts of guilt and shame can well inside of a bullied victim for years if not dealt with properly. It can be detrimental to a person's life plan.  It's simply not a laughing matter.

Eliminating the abuse within your life will drastically increase your self-worth. It will help increase your confidence and it will make you feel more important to society. Having a strong level of confidence will help you overcome any negativity. By increasing your self-worth, you're changing the way you see the World entirely. It all starts with associating yourself around healthy relationships. Who are the people that you associate with? Who are the friends you hang around with? Who are your influences? Who are the people you’re taking advice from? The people in your life will either make you or break you. Are they taking more than they're giving back? Are they good-willed, positive people, or do they drag you down and defeat you?

You are an important person who matters! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

A lesson on belief and taking action

Over the years, I’ve grown new perceptions of how the World really works. In fact, I’ve continuously studied people; how they think, and how they react to the environment around them. My conclusions are astounding. As a matter of fact, I learned that people who are happy; those who find their inner happiness, and those who bring out the positive in negative situations, generally took more action with their lives. They built the courage inside to take charge of their lives, rather than those who constantly fought against their own happiness by always thinking in negative terms. I've realized that those who were generally positive thinkers had a stronger belief system.

Belief and action are two important fundamentals that one must instill in order to achieve success. Far too often I have talked with friends or family members, and as they tell me passions and inspirations, they continue to tell me how lazy they are, or they make excuses as to why they don’t take action. They seem to never experience the fruits of life. In fact, their stories tell the exact opposite. If they were to reach a little further, perhaps step outside of their comfort zones and grasp onto opportunities with a more positive mindset, they would live a joyous life, but no matter what you tell them they remain in a negative state. Let me tell you this; without a positive belief comes zero action.

How do you react when the environment provides you with an opportunity? What beliefs are you feeding your mind? Are your thoughts dragging you down and making you lazy?

All too often, we remain grounded in reality because of the illusion of our limitations. Our limitations hold us back from wanting more. They make us lazy feeling defeated and make us sleep longer. They deplete our self-worth, and we lose our imagination in the process, forgetting what’s truly important. Don't let this happen to you. Create a solid belief system by eliminating your negative beliefs one at a time. Start thinking positive in every situation, and believe in yourself! Doing so will allow you to take action towards your passions without procrastinating.

Giving to others

All my life I’ve fathomed being in the limelight. Since a young age, I’ve been fascinated by celebrity. For some reason I’ve believed that celebrities live better than typical civilians. Maybe it was in the advertisements. The perfection was easy to see. It always seemed like they had something the rest don’t. They had to; it showed in their smiles, through their crafts and passions, in magazines and television ads. I then realized it was all in the hands of marketing gurus that place a synthetic image of what celebrity entails. As a matter of fact, I was so enthralled with becoming a celebrity that I went to great depths trying to learn about it from every aspect. I wanted to see if they truly did live better lives than us. I wanted to see if they truly were happier people. My findings are quite interesting.

I can assure you celebrity isn’t what it seems to be. It’s not exactly how they paint it on your television screen. In fact, in my trek to becoming a limelight sensation I’ve come across numerous celebrities from all walks in the entertainment industry. Back in my twenties my main focus was studying celebrity. I read countless biographies and even moved to Toronto, Vancouver and Los Angeles to find it. My research showed only more frustration, less privacy and less time to do what you really want to do. I found the majority of celebrities are less than satisfied people. They’re constantly on the watch; every time they leave their household they’re watched. Heck, they’re even videotaped and photographed while they’re in their homes. What I did learn was this; almost every celebrity I came across stated that the most important quality needed to reach true lasting happiness is giving to others.



Exercise: Give to others

There’s a lot of happiness in giving to others. There have actually been studies done on the effects after giving to others. These tests recorded the types of feelings one has when they help another person. The results are quite shocking. In fact, they’ve concluded that endorphins and other feel-good receptors are released into the bloodstream at a rapid rate after doing good for society. I believe giving to others happens to be the most over looked quality in the human race.

In your journal jot down a list of seven things you can do good for society. This exercise will take some visualization. By now you should be a near expert. Think of the things you can do to help a family member in need, or the neighbor across the street, or the friend that’s heartbroken. It doesn’t matter who you’re doing the random act of kindness for, you just need to have a clear idea what each good deed is. Think of the simple things you can do, like shoveling someone’s walkway without telling them, or offering to babysit somebody’s kids knowing they need a break, or simply bringing coffee and doughnuts into the office. Each small good deed will go a long way, especially if it isn’t expected. Try to make them more in depth than just holding a door open for someone. The larger the deed the more you’ll benefit. Once you have your list of seven, assign a weekday to accomplish each of them. This exercise will take some time and physical effort of your end, so be ready for it. Each day for the next full week enlist yourself to accomplish one good deed off the list. This will fill your Karma bank with funds that’ll propel your happiness quickly.



Exercise 2: Build your Karma bank

Karma means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering. Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in many schools of Asian religions. In these schools, karma in the present affects one's future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives.

I like to explain Karma the following way. Each of us has a Karma bank (account). It works the exact same way as your typical bank account however the transactions are in the irony of the decisions you make in your life. For example: if you make a negative decision in life you’ll instantly withdraw from your Karma account. The opposite is true when you do something good for society in a positive way. When this happens you actually make a deposit into your Karma account. The more you have banked in your Karma account the more benefits you’ll reap in life. If you’re in need for positive reinforcement due to a catastrophic life event however don’t have sufficient funds in your Karma account there’s very little the environment around you can help you with. If however your Karma statement shows a surplus in Karma when you’re facing a difficult life situation there’s plenty of possibilities the environment will help you with. Just like your life savings, it’s important to always be in the positive with your Karma account. Life starts to get pretty risky when your Karma account is in the overdraft.  There are plenty of ways you can increase your Karma account. Doing anything good for society or giving to others is the easiest way to increase it.

Making it count

Happiness isn’t something that stays maintenance-free. There’s actually quite a bit of effort needed on your end to keep it active. Happiness is like a nice chizzled body; without consistent maintenance and a direct focus on strengthening it it’s going to lose its strength and effectiveness. When happiness persists make it count because not every day will be a happy one. Happiness is something that should be cherished and taken advantage of, not taken for granted. When happiness enters your life be sure to make the most of it. Use it as leverage to make your dreams come true. And, be sure to encourage those around you to be happy too. Happiness is easiest celebrate when there’s others around to appreciate it.

Make your happiness count by making the most of it. Relish in the excitement when it’s present because often times our lives are anything but happy. It’s the happy times that make us realize life is worthwhile. Spending time with our children, friends and family are what make us happy. Achieving goals and working towards our passions are what makes us happy. Living in the moment is what makes us happy. These are all great ways to make the most of your life.

Make it count by accomplishing something you never thought was possible. Follow your ambitions and work towards the imagination you used to visualize when you were younger. The one you gave up on after being discriminated against. Let go of the limitations you previously held in the perspective of life that was passed down to you by your relatives. Make it count by sharing the happiness with those around you; those who are worthy of sharing it with. Your life is waiting to experience happiness in abundance. The type of happiness that brings a lasting smile. The kind of happiness that drives friendships closer, and the realm of happiness that makes you feel like you’re at the height of the world.

Enjoy the ride

All too often we get caught up in the results when developing our dreams. We forget that the best part of the experience is the process itself.

The first step in achieving anything, aside from imagining it, is taking action. Many miss out on the actual “happy” part of the experience when they do take action because they’re blinded by their future expectations. They feel that accomplishment equals happiness, and anything less is sub-par. There’s actually quite a bit of happiness within our goals – not only when they’re reached, but when you’re reaching them.

Enjoy the ride when in pursuit towards happiness. There’s a ton of untapped happiness within your journey to reaching your goals. Your inspiration will perspire when you do. Often times, we reach a goal and become disappointed, or we get afraid of the future because we haven’t enlisted any new goals. Find the happiness that resides in your everyday experiences on the journey to your ideal lifestyle, rather than just focusing on the end result, otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be eighty years old in your rocking chair wishing you had have appreciated, respected and enjoyed the ride.

Enjoying the ride is like living in the moment. The more you practice it the happier you’ll be.



Exercise: Eliminating the need to be perfect

Society teaches us less than perfection is weak. We see television ads every day that “guarantee” a better life upon purchasing their products. The images portrayed in these commercials show youthful, hard-bodied individuals with perfect white teeth and extremely well dressed. What they don’t show in these ads are the numerous plastic surgeries these models have had, or the amount of money they spent on facial and body products to make them look this good, or their intense workout regimen. They paint a solid picture that nothing but perfection should be accepted. This, of course, reiterates a message that reaches our youth in a negative way. It depletes their values and deflates their ambition. It makes them feel less than adequate. Our youth aren’t only the ones affected by them. In fact, all of humanity is affected. It isn’t only television commercials that are the concern. This delves deep into the marketing budgets of the top executives that spend billions of dollars on understanding the psychology of consumers. This gives them leverage over us because their marketing dollars tell them exactly where we live, what we buy, what we do, what our interests are, etc. All too often we get blinded by our need to be and look perfect. Our beliefs are set to think that happiness resides in the purchases we make. After the blindness sets in we get disappointed by our purchases because they failed to serve us the type of happiness the radio ads promised.

Don’t get sucked in the realm of unhappiness by following the crowd. Nobody needs anything that’s advertised on television. Nobody! Materialism is just a quick fix to our unhappiness because the more you own means more possibilities of things breaking. Think about it; if you owned a ten thousand square foot mansion, had a collection of fifteen cars, had eleven children and managed ten companies, there’s a good chance you would get extremely overwhelmed. Often times, more things just means more dissatisfaction. This is an example where abundance isn’t always the best.

Commercials are a part of the plague that ruins our society. They’re filled with negative messages that deplete our happiness, and they do nothing but make us feel inadequate. Don’t let them plague your mind and forget about what’s truly important. Perfection only distracts you from enjoying the ride. Stop believing you need to be perfect in any area of your life. I can surely tell you that nobody’s perfect. I can personally attest that even though I’ve been a motivational speaker for over fifteen years, I am not perfect nor will I ever be. The same goes with anything in my life. The same goes with you too. Neither of us are perfect in any way. If something seems perfect it just means you’re not seeing the imperfections underneath. Imperfections are the beauty in life. You just need to see them that way.

Pay attention to how many advertisement you come across in the next few days that portray perfection. How many of their messages subliminally tell you you’re going to be happier after purchasing their products or services? A simple count will suffice. This is a simple exercise to help you realize how much of our mind is influenced to think in the realm of perfection.

What do you want?

This may seem like a simple question to answer, but it’s actually the most difficult.
In less than sixty seconds answer the following question. What do you want in life? I want you to include an answer for each of the following: what do you want in business/career, your personal life, within your passions/hobbies and health.

Very few can answer this question with much detail in less than a minute. The primary reason is because it’s not a very common question. When was the last time you were asked this question? Exactly. The second reason is due to not knowing yourself well enough to confidently answer it. Either way, if you can’t answer this question in less than sixty seconds, with a clear perspective on what you truly want, then you definitely need to strengthen your happiness muscle.
I want your focus to be less materialistic and more heartfelt when dealing with this exercise. A morbidly great way to find the type of happiness you’re looking for is by writing your own eulogy.

Exercise: What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?
Fortunately, to this date, I haven’t been to too many funerals. I rarely feel comfortable at funerals, to be honest. When I was younger my body would clam up as soon as I walked into the funeral parlour because it was tough to adjust to all the different emotions floating around the room. After my favorite Aunt passed away I realized that death is just a part of reality. I knew I needed to learn to live with it. One of the easiest ways at looking at death, I found, is by looking at the hearty life they lived while they were alive. For this exercise I want you to imagine yourself at your own funeral.
Imagine yourself waking up in the morning. You’re lying still in your bed quietly absorbing the peaceful environment. The room is silent, not a peep is heard. It’s as though your senses are mostly impaired, but life to you feels good. As you lay there you hear a male voice through a microphone, but you can’t quite distinguish who is speaking. Shortly after, your vision becomes clearer and you stare at the ceiling above. It looks different though – something you’re not used to seeing. You soon realize you’re in a different building altogether. You start smelling candles burning. The aroma of burning wax fills the air. As you continue to lay there motionless you become a part of the moment. Some would say you’re living in the moment – absorbing everything your senses take in. You decide to turn your head to the side. As you do, you notice a packed audience of two or three hundred people. Most of which are your closest friends and family members. The rest are acquaintances and distant relatives. It doesn’t take you long to realize you’re in a casket in a familiar local church, at your own funeral. At that moment a million things run through your mind. Images of all your loved ones flash before you. You question yourself; wondering if you gave your life your all. Hoping you spent enough quality time with your kids, and put enough in them before you passed away. As your judgement is clouded with questioning, the words spoken through the pa system vibrate into your mindset. You soon realize the person speaking through the microphone is your brother, father, or someone significant in your life. You hear his/her words, and they’re filled with love, respect and appreciation. A smile runs from ear-to-ear.
What words do you hear?

This exercise includes your imagination and a lot of it. As you’re lying in your casket listening to the words through the microphone imagine what the overall message is saying. Be the script writer, and be the author of your own eulogy. What would you want others to say about you at your own funeral?
Imagine your funeral details. Who is present? What are they wearing? What kind of snacks are they serving? In fact, step outside of your casket and be a ghost at your own funeral. Walk around the audience and see their reactions to the words through the pa system. The more detailed you get the more practical this strategy becomes. The more you visualize something the more real it becomes.

Living in the moment

What I’ve learned from fatherhood is that time with family is precious. It wasn’t until after my second daughter was born until I saw how quickly my first daughter had grown. Luckily I made a pact with myself before I had children – to live in the moment when spending time with them. This is something I believe everyone should live by.

Unfortunately, children are neglected more today than ever before. The days where the Mother stayed at home raising the children while the Father made the living are over. Nowadays, Mothers are fighting to keep their families together. They themselves are working two part time jobs to fill the gap their husbands tiny pay cheques doesn’t cover. Our fast-paced environment has driven us to want more stuff which makes matters even worse. I won’t even get into the fact that materialism has taken over our values. Our perspective of reality has changed in the midst of all this.
After going through my divorce I realized that time at the office is overrated and there’s no happiness without family time. Family time can be quality time spent with friends as well. Spending quality time with anyone that makes you happy is worthwhile. Nature has taught us there’s no fruit without it.

During my first marriage I failed to realize that too much of my focus was spent at the office, and not enough was spent with my wife. In fact, that was the driving force behind our breakup. The second go-around in marriage reminded me how important family time is. Thus, making a pact with myself to live in the moment every time family is present. This tactic alone has brought my happiness level up tenfold.

Exercise: How often do you live in the moment?
Living in the moment allows you to feel content with the life you’re living. It enables you to see the pleasures of life that are normally overlooked. We’ve all heard the statement “Live in the moment,” but who actually tries it? How often do you live in the moment?
This exercise is a great way for you to see the value in the things around you that are often overlooked. You don’t necessarily need to journal your thoughts unless you would like to.
In a quiet comfortable place I want you to prepare yourself for meditation. This means breathing exercises need to be implemented first. As your breaths become long, and your mind and body are at a relaxed state I want you to fully live in the moment. Feel the moment; be a part of it, and appreciate it. You do not have to close your eyes for this exercise, but you can do so if you would like. With all your senses try to be in the moment as much as possible. That means to smell, taste and see the environment around you. I want you to particularly take notice of the things you wouldn’t normally focus on. Things like the flowers in the garden, the warm air blowing your hair, the perfection of the bugs crawling around the pavement, or anything that your senses are attracted to.
If you’re writing your experience down on paper be sure not to spend too much time on writing. I prefer you spend more time on the actual visualization part of the exercise itself.
As you’re examining the environment around you breathe in the smells of whatever is around you. Hear the sounds that around you. Feel the texture of your fingertips. Try to absorb as much as you can. Appreciate the moment in any manner possible, and be grateful for the experience of life itself. There’s no better way to experience happiness than actually living in the moment. Repeat this exercise as much as you can. Life spent in the moment is better than any other.

Materialism; how important is it to you?

I grew up in a large family with two older brothers and two younger sisters. Despite the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was a young child, we’ve been a very close knit family since and keep in touch often. This type of family culture has not only created ease for me and my siblings; it has generated feelings of compassion for family get-togethers and has made us believe that anyone can get along no matter what circumstances prevail.  Unfortunately, many families don’t get to experience that same type of culture. In fact, it can be quite difficult for broken families to re mend the loss of some of its best qualities after a separation occurs. Understanding how close our family has become has made me grateful for being raised within it. Being a close knit family has allowed all family members to connect in a powerful way. I’ve learned many lessons through their experiences and through their guidance. In fact, I’m sure we’ve all taught each other a lesson or two throughout our lives. My observations over the years has taught me that each of us is driven by different motivations. For example: My oldest brother Shaine has interests in construction and building things, while my older brother Brock has interests in Policing. Whereas, I have very little interest in either of those careers. And, I'm quite confident they would say the same for my profession. We all have different factors that drive motivation. Another interesting thing that I learned through my siblings is the fact that each of us values money differently. These comparisons have led me to realize that the way we value money is equal to the value we place on ourselves.

Psychologists have studied the motivation and comparisons behind money and the human mind for years. It’s been known that money drives people in different ways. In fact, people generate different motivations for money as they progress through life. Our values, roles, beliefs and daily thoughts all contribute to our differentiating motivators of money and what it’s used for. Our definition of Money actually changes within our minds over time, and we associate different objects or meanings behind it through the process. There are a variety of different meanings for the term money. Most people associate money as a means to contribute to their current lifestyle – to pay the rising cost of living, or to provide for their families. There seems to be a general sense of what money means, however, after the obvious qualities are taken care of, we all seem to have different perspectives and varying beliefs of what it means to us, individually. We are motivated to spend it in different ways. Having a variety of different personalities roaming my household, including my parents and my brothers and sisters has allowed me to understand the differentiating factors behind the motivation of their spending habits. In fact, each of us spends money differently, which means that we not only have different beliefs about its purpose, but we also place different values upon ourselves.

Each of us wants different things in life. We desire different accomplishments and different experiences. This being said; each of us generates a different perspective of what creates ideal happiness. Many are driven to reach success if there is a financial pay-out for their efforts. They jump to the occasion even if it means overcoming obstacles and large fears. Money can be a great motivating factor. However, there are many other positive forms of motivation one can adhere to when accomplishing goals, like the motivation for accomplishment. Some may be strictly motivated to leave a mark on this Planet. Others may be motivated to travel or to raise a happy and healthy family. Again, each of us is motivated differently. The most common and rapidly growing motivators is materialism.

Money is needed to get by in society. We all know that. We all need jobs to keep up with the standard of living. Groceries are expensive, and gas prices I'd rather not even get into. Many fight “the ordinary” and find rewarding careers, or run successful businesses, all in all, the majority of us are working at our jobs or working away our careers for the financial benefit. The truth is; if the monetary system didn’t exist, our minds would be motivated by completely different factors. Perhaps the desire for passion, the desire of doing less work and spending more time with family, or even the desire to work in an industry that creates harmony for other cultures rather than the opposite more destructive society that we live in today. Maybe these things would create more joy in our minds.

Money represents so many different things to each of us. Often times, our views of money change as our values change, or as our friendships change. To some, it represents their hard work and accomplishments, whereas, for others, it represents security or financial wealth. Each of us defines money differently. In fact, The way we define money can tell us a lot about our beliefs. Your mind is a very powerful tool. It’s time to take advantage of its talents and use it to find the motivating factors behind your spending. Eliminate the negative attachments you hold against money and replace them with authority. No longer do you need to be ruled by your purchases. Companies want you to purchase their products, that's why they advertise the promise of satisfaction and relief. You’ll soon realize that beyond the purchase only lies resentment, high expenses and unhappiness. Plus, most of the time they never serve their promises of a simpler life upon the purchase.

Make a list of your daily purchases. Make note and take the time to find the motivation behind each purchase. Why do you purchase the things you do? Is it merely to relieve negative feelings inside your mind? Before the list is fully read you’ll have a clear understanding of where the motivation comes from. Once you find the motivating factors behind your purchases you can work towards eliminating your negative beliefs about money. Don’t succumb to any false advertisements or ill feelings of neediness. Only living in the moment can bring peace of mind and true lasting happiness.

It’s time to rid yourself of any ill associations of money and what it means to you. Negative associations will only lead to aggression in some form. Even though materialistic items may be fun to have, they’re merely there to keep the economy growing. Need I say again; inner peace only comes when one is content and happy with what they already have. True compassion is expressed when this is accomplished.

When you’re ready to search for the negative associations that you hold towards money, may I suggest the following exercise: Make a goal to eliminate all non-essential purchases. Every time your mind tells you to purchase something, ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” If it’s crucial for your survival definitely make the purchase; however, if the answer is, “Hell No, it’s not crucial for my survival,” then eliminate the thought altogether. It can be difficult to say No every time your eyes see something appealing, but it’s not impossible. It takes practice.

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Responsibilities vs priorities

Our souls are driven by hundreds of characteristics. These characteristics are the same for everyone however the potency of each individual characteristic is entirely different. Although we’re all made of the same matter, neither of us has the exact same characteristic blend. This means neither of us are bound to any specific lifestyle.

Each of us wants different things in life because we have differentiating beliefs and values. This is what makes life interesting. Life wouldn’t be very fun if we all wanted the exact same things; the same lifestyle, the same dreams, the same imagination, etc. Imagine what life would look like if everyone was driving the exact same vehicle, fighting for the exact same career, studying the exact same education. If this was the case I can assure you humans would suffer from much more than anxiety. Life itself simply wouldn’t be very appealing.

Ask yourself these questions, and be sure to write down everything that comes to your mind. This exercise will teach you more about yourself than you actually believed you knew.

    How do I view the society around me?
    How do I view myself? (Overall)
    How do I view my friends and closest influences?
    What makes me happy? What makes me tick?
    What are my passions?
    How deserving am I of having a quality life?
    What are my accomplishments?
    What am I grateful for in life?
    Who are my closest influences?
    Which of my influences were negative?
    What are three of my limiting beliefs?
    Where did they come from?

Once you’ve completed this exercise you’ll view your current perspective of reality a lot more clearly. This will enable you to see the areas where positive change is needed. Getting to know yourself is one of the fundamentals in becoming happy. I recommend coming back to this exercise often. The more you think about these questions the better you’ll understand yourself. The better you get to know yourself the better your life will be.

With a new perspective it’s easier to see where your priorities are, and which ones need to be tweaked. Without a balanced focus on your priorities you’re destined for failure. This is why this chapter is more important than you may realize. I bet you’re thinking, this happiness thing is a lot more difficult than I thought. Life is actually a lot more complicated than one would realize. It isn’t until we look into the logistics of all characteristics involved within our lives when we realize how in-depth it actually is. Priorities are another characteristic added to the realm.

Priorities define our accomplishments. They drive our mindset away from danger. Well, most of the time. They label what’s most important in our lives, and they persuade our thoughts too. Without priorities life wouldn’t be very organized. In fact, there would be much turmoil and a lot of dissatisfaction because the important things wouldn’t be looked after. As we all know, our priorities need to be maintained and adjusted. Things like spending time with family, friends, or working on your hobbies and passions. These are all things that need to be maintained because without them we’re nowhere.

If you break down your priorities you’ll see that your responsibilities are an active key component. In fact, your responsibilities are what shape your priorities. They help determine what’s most important. In essence they guide your priorities. We all have responsibilities. These come in various forms, but they’re all fairly similar amongst us. Responsibilities keep us aligned. They allow us to see stay grounded from ill activity. It’s important to balance them by prioritizing them. No one responsibility should take the front line of your perspective. A well balanced perspective is one that brings happiness.

Accepting the opportunities

The law of attraction is one very effective way to bring quality results into your life. We explored this in previous chapters. When practiced properly the Law of attraction generates life-changing opportunities. When this happens you need to be sure to take advantage of these opportunities they persist.

You see it in movies all the time. Mostly in comedies. Everyone’s seen the scene in Dumb and Dumber, at the end of the movie when they’re hitchhiking down the highway wishing they had an opportunity. Moments later a tour bus loaded with beautiful women stops beside them. The bus door opens and a woman says, “We are looking for a couple of guys to rub lotion on our bodies for our photoshoots. Do you know where can find them?” Jim Carrey’s response, “You’re in luck. There’s a town a few miles back where you’re bound to find them.” As the bus leaves they continue to walk down the highway wishing for an ideal opportunity. This is a clear example of a missed opportunity.

Opportunities are missed each and every day. In fact, each of our decisions hold missed opportunities because each decision has multiple outcomes. Who would’ve known if you had of made the other choice? I think about this question quite often actually. While I meditate I usually ask myself this question. It allows me to look at the situation in multiple perspectives. In fact, when I’m deciding to make a large choice in my life I always look at it from as many angles as possible. This allows me to generate the most appropriate choice based on my beliefs and values. Doing this also helps so I don’t miss life’s opportunities.

Opportunities come in a variety of forms. They’re filled with various experiences and provide endless possibilities. The best part about them is; there’s a good chance you can rekindle happiness through them. Opportunities allow us to transform our mindset and strengthen our beliefs and values. They generate new experiences and drive us to meet new people. They give us better financial possibilities and allow us to excel at our passions. Each and every opportunity provides a new way of looking at life.

All too often we miss opportunities that are staring us right in the face because we’re distracted in our current reality. Life gets comfortable quickly, and often times, we aren’t looking for opportunities because we are so caught up in our everyday fiasco of living. There’s no point in working towards positive change unless you’re willing to look for the opportunities when they present themselves. Opportunities exist when one is ready to make positive change. My favorite quote explains this perfectly, “When the student is ready to learn the teacher will be there.” Happiness resides in your missed opportunities. Don’t be naïve. Be ready for the opportunities when they unfold themselves.



Exercise: Look for the opportunities

There are many missed opportunities within our everyday movements. Often times we fail to see these opportunities because we are so focused on what’s normal. The abnormalities, which are opportunities disguised as discomfort are often overlooked because they’re exactly that; uncomfortable. If you haven’t already realized; this books message is all about perspective. It all depends on how you look at any given situation. As mentioned, a tweaked perspective can lead you to happiness quite quickly.

Over the next three weeks I want you to focus on missed opportunities. This is a visualization exercise that’ll help you see the missing pieces to happiness that’s staring directly at you.

When you wake up tomorrow, and for the next three weeks I want you to focus on your daily activities. Primarily on the abnormal things; things that aren’t a part of your everyday regimen. Find abnormal changes in your plans that guide you on a different path. I’m not talking about a change in traffic that forces you a different direction to work. I’m talking about an experience that changes your perspective about something. Perhaps a random email from a company offering you a new line of work, or an overseas vacation that’s offered from a close friend, or even as simple as a television program that inspires you to fulfill your passion. These come to us to entice positive change in our lives. They’re there to help us live better. It could be the girl or guy you had a crush on way back that comes back into your life somehow out of nowhere. These kinds of things are opportunities to experience a new lifestyle; a new way of thinking. They’re there to persuade us to a happier life. Make a mental note, or mark them down in your journal when you come across them. But, most of all, be sure to grasp onto them when they come into your life. They’re to help you shift your perspective.

Being grateful

Being grateful is the simplest way to raise your happiness meter. When you feel grateful for something your body emits hormones that make you feel good. When you feel good your body operates at a higher vibrational frequency. When you practice being grateful you become more wholesome and your values match the rhythm of your life’s tune. When this happens your happiness meter sky rockets. Everyone, no matter who you are, has many things to be grateful for. I use the term ‘things’ lightly because ‘things’ are generally perceived as materialistic objects. This is not what I’m referring to. In fact, the less material grateful you are the more wholesome you’ll be. Let’s focus on the more heartfelt approach to being grateful.

It’s easy to be grateful for something physical, like your car, or the home you live in. It’s easy because you can physically see the object which makes it easy to feel the happy emotions they bring. Unfortunately, materialism only causes more dissatisfaction. Obviously the car and home are staples to managing a lifestyle in today’s society. Well, maybe the house is a staple, the car could technically be done without. The point that I’m trying to make is that the materialistic items like the jewelry on your body, the toys your children play with, the products companies across the globe market to us, the faster car or bigger home, or even the greener grass. None of this is needed to live an optimal life. In fact, many of us get sucked into the tunnel of disappointment upon purchasing these products. They simply will not make you happy, period. Well, maybe for a short period, however, if you’re looking for lasting happiness you’ll need to focus less on the materialistic and more on the wholesome qualities of your life; like your siblings, your career or passions. There are plenty of non-materialistic things to be grateful for. You just need to tap into your creativity.

The best thing you can do to maintain being grateful is to create a mantra with the things you’re grateful for in life and repeat it daily. I can assure you you’ll start to appreciate life more every time you say it.

I say my grateful mantra at least three times per day every day. I often start my days off by saying it in the shower. I’ll say it again (in my head) on the way to work, and once again usually before I go to sleep at night, or after supper. Nowadays, I know my mantra like the back of my hand. I’ve said it to myself hundreds of times. It’s already been engrained into my mindset. In fact, often times, as soon as I get into the shower in the morning my head instantly starts reciting my mantra because my mind has been trained to recite it every I’m in that environment. Here’s how my mantra goes:

I’m grateful for my mother and father. I’m grateful for my brothers and sisters, friends and distant family. I’m grateful for my two daughters; Sophia and Olivia. I’m grateful for my wife Melanie, and all the opportunities that surround me every day. Lastly, I’m grateful for the materialistic things that make my life easier.

It’s simple to remember, and it makes me feel happier after reciting it every time. I’ll either say my mantra aloud or inside my head. It all depends where I am. When I’m frustrated with something in my life I’ll restate it. It allows me to stay level headed and balanced when I’m struck with a catastrophe. Note that I left the materialistic stuff to the end of the mantra. Hint: The fruit is in your relationships.

I recommend you write your own mantra. It’s super simple, and it comes with much reward. Here’s what you can do to start the process.

When you’re meditating ask yourself this question, “What am I grateful for in my life?”  Test your mind to delve deep into the reserves to find at least four qualities of your life (non-materialistic) that you’re grateful for. When you find four write them into a mantra similar to mine. Then practice saying the mantra to yourself at least three times every day. Soon, the magic of your own happiness will unfold right in front of you, just by being grateful.



Exercise: Positive focus

Another great way to raise your grateful meter is to complete a positive focus. This exercise requires only that; your positive focus. It’s a quick way to generate a healthy perspective of your past. Here’s what you’re going to do.

In a quiet comfortable environment sit as though you were getting ready to meditate. Take a few deep breaths to get ready. Try to clear your mind as much as possible. If any negative thoughts arise try to eliminate them altogether. You need a positive state for this exercise. When you’re ready, relax, and think back six months. In fast playback form, think of as many experiences as you can that happened in that period of time. Sift through all those images and find the accomplishments. This can be anything from starting a relationship to launching a business idea, being in the newspaper and everything in between. Focus on your accomplishments and you’ll be delighted to see how many happy memories exist within your mind, even just in the previous months. Be creative, and try to find at least six qualities; one for each month.

When you reminisce about something that makes you happy it builds confidence which is important for generating happiness. Remembering some of your happy times gives you that solid feeling that you’re on this Planet for a reason. This exercise is to help you understand that everyone has something to be grateful for in life, no matter who you are, or what hand you were dealt. Being grateful is one of the easiest ways to generate happiness in your heart.  You can do this through a positive focus.

My journey to Enlightenment

My pursuit to true enlightenment has taken over thirty years to accomplish. Even though, it seems like an easy feat to achieve, it’s something that takes time, practice and commitment to bring to fruition. Since I was a young, my mother taught me about spirituality and religion. At first, I didn’t have a strong desire to achieve any realm of spirituality. It wasn’t until I hit my late twenties; that’s when I decided to make a commitment towards forming a spiritual path in my life. I’ve recently grown to understand its benefits. Reading scriptures in the holy book and hundreds self-help books on spirituality has helped me understand life and its components a lot more clearly. Hundreds of stories of sacrifice and discipline have encouraged me to search for enlightenment within my own life. These stories have not only influenced my perspective of life, they have directed me to my own inner being – an understanding of who I am inside.

My first feeling of enlightenment came after I was able to eliminate all the hatred, remorse and negativity that surfaced my mind, much of which I discussed in The First Chapter. When I was able to do this, instantly, my mind became a lot clearer and I was able to live in the moment without putrid annoyances of my past. Feelings of joy, contentment and happiness surrounded me every day. It's something almost indescribable, but I know the feeling was very positive in nature. It came when I was able to eliminate any and all judgement towards myself and others. It came when my beliefs were in tune with my values, and it came with much discipline. Even though it took me years to release, I now know how to bring it back frequently. Being enlightened is an experience like no other. Here’s my experience:

I am standing on a lonely foothill just outside Calgary, Alberta and overlooking the mountains of Banff. It’s a spectacular sight. The warm breeze is melting the snow on the mountain tops. It’s nearing the end of Spring and the smells of summer are in the air. The aroma of the trees, flowers and fresh air is blissful. Fresh Spring mountain run-off is flowing through streams, creating a peaceful sound absorbed through my ears. The feelings that run through my body are radiant and overpower any negativity surrounding me. My mind is silent and no images are present. It’s as though I've faded into the Matrix. My body is peaceful and in a neutral state as I admire the environment around me. I gaze around, looking at all the beautiful sights, including the soft flowers that were created with near perfection and the pebbles underneath my feet. In fact, everything around me seems to be created with perfection. Even the bees flying through the air are created with such an amazing perfect complexion. I’m in awe of the magnificent sights. Joy runs through my veins and a feeling of happiness overwhelms my spirit. I’m truly living in the moment for the first time in my life. This feels like the perfect moment.

For the past three decades I was guided by misinformed beliefs that starved me of any fulfillment. I was searching for something that I thought would bring inner relief and satisfaction, without realizing that I was fighting an impossible mission. I kept delving deeper and deeper into my soul, trying to locate the feelings of happiness, but, no matter what I did I couldn't find contentment within myself. I felt empty inside and incomplete, but today was much different. I had finally given myself the opportunity to release the stress of society and join the relaxation of nature. I was living in the moment. It was exactly what I was looking for.

During my state of enlightenment, I had finally eliminated the need for affection of society. I got rid of my limiting beliefs that weighed me down and made me feel weak. I felt truly happy and excited all at once. It was such a relief. I finally felt in full control of my emotions, my beliefs and my own identity. No longer was I directed by any ill manifested images of unhappiness. My inner soul felt gravitated, like it was in its highest form of spirituality. As I stood there, overlooking the mountains of Banff, a slight chill ran through my body, however, I didn’t allow it to take form in any other way. It just added to the perfect moment that I was living. All negative thoughts of my past and future had subsided completely. As I heard the chirp of some passing birds, it sent my mind into a deeply relaxed state. It felt like I was daydreaming reality. As I focused on my breathing, I realized that my heart rate dropped significantly; compared to the vigorous state it was in while climbing the hill. I then took my focus off of the sights and sounds around me and focused only on my breathing. I paid attention to my heart rate. After a brief moment, my entire body started tingling. It’s was though a powerful energy was radiating throughout my entire soul. It felt amazing. I allowed the intense feeling of satisfaction to run through my body for as long as I could. For about five minutes, my mind was at complete peace. Moments later, my stop watch started beeping loudly and attracted my attention. I shook my head from the daze that it was in and instantly my mind fell back into reality. As I stood on the large foothill that day, I realized that, for the first time ever in my life, I had been truly enlightened.

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