Making it count

Happiness isn’t something that stays maintenance-free. There’s actually quite a bit of effort needed on your end to keep it active. Happiness is like a nice chizzled body; without consistent maintenance and a direct focus on strengthening it it’s going to lose its strength and effectiveness. When happiness persists make it count because not every day will be a happy one. Happiness is something that should be cherished and taken advantage of, not taken for granted. When happiness enters your life be sure to make the most of it. Use it as leverage to make your dreams come true. And, be sure to encourage those around you to be happy too. Happiness is easiest celebrate when there’s others around to appreciate it.

Make your happiness count by making the most of it. Relish in the excitement when it’s present because often times our lives are anything but happy. It’s the happy times that make us realize life is worthwhile. Spending time with our children, friends and family are what make us happy. Achieving goals and working towards our passions are what makes us happy. Living in the moment is what makes us happy. These are all great ways to make the most of your life.

Make it count by accomplishing something you never thought was possible. Follow your ambitions and work towards the imagination you used to visualize when you were younger. The one you gave up on after being discriminated against. Let go of the limitations you previously held in the perspective of life that was passed down to you by your relatives. Make it count by sharing the happiness with those around you; those who are worthy of sharing it with. Your life is waiting to experience happiness in abundance. The type of happiness that brings a lasting smile. The kind of happiness that drives friendships closer, and the realm of happiness that makes you feel like you’re at the height of the world.

Enjoy the ride

All too often we get caught up in the results when developing our dreams. We forget that the best part of the experience is the process itself.

The first step in achieving anything, aside from imagining it, is taking action. Many miss out on the actual “happy” part of the experience when they do take action because they’re blinded by their future expectations. They feel that accomplishment equals happiness, and anything less is sub-par. There’s actually quite a bit of happiness within our goals – not only when they’re reached, but when you’re reaching them.

Enjoy the ride when in pursuit towards happiness. There’s a ton of untapped happiness within your journey to reaching your goals. Your inspiration will perspire when you do. Often times, we reach a goal and become disappointed, or we get afraid of the future because we haven’t enlisted any new goals. Find the happiness that resides in your everyday experiences on the journey to your ideal lifestyle, rather than just focusing on the end result, otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be eighty years old in your rocking chair wishing you had have appreciated, respected and enjoyed the ride.

Enjoying the ride is like living in the moment. The more you practice it the happier you’ll be.



Exercise: Eliminating the need to be perfect

Society teaches us less than perfection is weak. We see television ads every day that “guarantee” a better life upon purchasing their products. The images portrayed in these commercials show youthful, hard-bodied individuals with perfect white teeth and extremely well dressed. What they don’t show in these ads are the numerous plastic surgeries these models have had, or the amount of money they spent on facial and body products to make them look this good, or their intense workout regimen. They paint a solid picture that nothing but perfection should be accepted. This, of course, reiterates a message that reaches our youth in a negative way. It depletes their values and deflates their ambition. It makes them feel less than adequate. Our youth aren’t only the ones affected by them. In fact, all of humanity is affected. It isn’t only television commercials that are the concern. This delves deep into the marketing budgets of the top executives that spend billions of dollars on understanding the psychology of consumers. This gives them leverage over us because their marketing dollars tell them exactly where we live, what we buy, what we do, what our interests are, etc. All too often we get blinded by our need to be and look perfect. Our beliefs are set to think that happiness resides in the purchases we make. After the blindness sets in we get disappointed by our purchases because they failed to serve us the type of happiness the radio ads promised.

Don’t get sucked in the realm of unhappiness by following the crowd. Nobody needs anything that’s advertised on television. Nobody! Materialism is just a quick fix to our unhappiness because the more you own means more possibilities of things breaking. Think about it; if you owned a ten thousand square foot mansion, had a collection of fifteen cars, had eleven children and managed ten companies, there’s a good chance you would get extremely overwhelmed. Often times, more things just means more dissatisfaction. This is an example where abundance isn’t always the best.

Commercials are a part of the plague that ruins our society. They’re filled with negative messages that deplete our happiness, and they do nothing but make us feel inadequate. Don’t let them plague your mind and forget about what’s truly important. Perfection only distracts you from enjoying the ride. Stop believing you need to be perfect in any area of your life. I can surely tell you that nobody’s perfect. I can personally attest that even though I’ve been a motivational speaker for over fifteen years, I am not perfect nor will I ever be. The same goes with anything in my life. The same goes with you too. Neither of us are perfect in any way. If something seems perfect it just means you’re not seeing the imperfections underneath. Imperfections are the beauty in life. You just need to see them that way.

Pay attention to how many advertisement you come across in the next few days that portray perfection. How many of their messages subliminally tell you you’re going to be happier after purchasing their products or services? A simple count will suffice. This is a simple exercise to help you realize how much of our mind is influenced to think in the realm of perfection.

What do you want?

This may seem like a simple question to answer, but it’s actually the most difficult.
In less than sixty seconds answer the following question. What do you want in life? I want you to include an answer for each of the following: what do you want in business/career, your personal life, within your passions/hobbies and health.

Very few can answer this question with much detail in less than a minute. The primary reason is because it’s not a very common question. When was the last time you were asked this question? Exactly. The second reason is due to not knowing yourself well enough to confidently answer it. Either way, if you can’t answer this question in less than sixty seconds, with a clear perspective on what you truly want, then you definitely need to strengthen your happiness muscle.
I want your focus to be less materialistic and more heartfelt when dealing with this exercise. A morbidly great way to find the type of happiness you’re looking for is by writing your own eulogy.

Exercise: What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?
Fortunately, to this date, I haven’t been to too many funerals. I rarely feel comfortable at funerals, to be honest. When I was younger my body would clam up as soon as I walked into the funeral parlour because it was tough to adjust to all the different emotions floating around the room. After my favorite Aunt passed away I realized that death is just a part of reality. I knew I needed to learn to live with it. One of the easiest ways at looking at death, I found, is by looking at the hearty life they lived while they were alive. For this exercise I want you to imagine yourself at your own funeral.
Imagine yourself waking up in the morning. You’re lying still in your bed quietly absorbing the peaceful environment. The room is silent, not a peep is heard. It’s as though your senses are mostly impaired, but life to you feels good. As you lay there you hear a male voice through a microphone, but you can’t quite distinguish who is speaking. Shortly after, your vision becomes clearer and you stare at the ceiling above. It looks different though – something you’re not used to seeing. You soon realize you’re in a different building altogether. You start smelling candles burning. The aroma of burning wax fills the air. As you continue to lay there motionless you become a part of the moment. Some would say you’re living in the moment – absorbing everything your senses take in. You decide to turn your head to the side. As you do, you notice a packed audience of two or three hundred people. Most of which are your closest friends and family members. The rest are acquaintances and distant relatives. It doesn’t take you long to realize you’re in a casket in a familiar local church, at your own funeral. At that moment a million things run through your mind. Images of all your loved ones flash before you. You question yourself; wondering if you gave your life your all. Hoping you spent enough quality time with your kids, and put enough in them before you passed away. As your judgement is clouded with questioning, the words spoken through the pa system vibrate into your mindset. You soon realize the person speaking through the microphone is your brother, father, or someone significant in your life. You hear his/her words, and they’re filled with love, respect and appreciation. A smile runs from ear-to-ear.
What words do you hear?

This exercise includes your imagination and a lot of it. As you’re lying in your casket listening to the words through the microphone imagine what the overall message is saying. Be the script writer, and be the author of your own eulogy. What would you want others to say about you at your own funeral?
Imagine your funeral details. Who is present? What are they wearing? What kind of snacks are they serving? In fact, step outside of your casket and be a ghost at your own funeral. Walk around the audience and see their reactions to the words through the pa system. The more detailed you get the more practical this strategy becomes. The more you visualize something the more real it becomes.

Living in the moment

What I’ve learned from fatherhood is that time with family is precious. It wasn’t until after my second daughter was born until I saw how quickly my first daughter had grown. Luckily I made a pact with myself before I had children – to live in the moment when spending time with them. This is something I believe everyone should live by.

Unfortunately, children are neglected more today than ever before. The days where the Mother stayed at home raising the children while the Father made the living are over. Nowadays, Mothers are fighting to keep their families together. They themselves are working two part time jobs to fill the gap their husbands tiny pay cheques doesn’t cover. Our fast-paced environment has driven us to want more stuff which makes matters even worse. I won’t even get into the fact that materialism has taken over our values. Our perspective of reality has changed in the midst of all this.
After going through my divorce I realized that time at the office is overrated and there’s no happiness without family time. Family time can be quality time spent with friends as well. Spending quality time with anyone that makes you happy is worthwhile. Nature has taught us there’s no fruit without it.

During my first marriage I failed to realize that too much of my focus was spent at the office, and not enough was spent with my wife. In fact, that was the driving force behind our breakup. The second go-around in marriage reminded me how important family time is. Thus, making a pact with myself to live in the moment every time family is present. This tactic alone has brought my happiness level up tenfold.

Exercise: How often do you live in the moment?
Living in the moment allows you to feel content with the life you’re living. It enables you to see the pleasures of life that are normally overlooked. We’ve all heard the statement “Live in the moment,” but who actually tries it? How often do you live in the moment?
This exercise is a great way for you to see the value in the things around you that are often overlooked. You don’t necessarily need to journal your thoughts unless you would like to.
In a quiet comfortable place I want you to prepare yourself for meditation. This means breathing exercises need to be implemented first. As your breaths become long, and your mind and body are at a relaxed state I want you to fully live in the moment. Feel the moment; be a part of it, and appreciate it. You do not have to close your eyes for this exercise, but you can do so if you would like. With all your senses try to be in the moment as much as possible. That means to smell, taste and see the environment around you. I want you to particularly take notice of the things you wouldn’t normally focus on. Things like the flowers in the garden, the warm air blowing your hair, the perfection of the bugs crawling around the pavement, or anything that your senses are attracted to.
If you’re writing your experience down on paper be sure not to spend too much time on writing. I prefer you spend more time on the actual visualization part of the exercise itself.
As you’re examining the environment around you breathe in the smells of whatever is around you. Hear the sounds that around you. Feel the texture of your fingertips. Try to absorb as much as you can. Appreciate the moment in any manner possible, and be grateful for the experience of life itself. There’s no better way to experience happiness than actually living in the moment. Repeat this exercise as much as you can. Life spent in the moment is better than any other.

Materialism; how important is it to you?

I grew up in a large family with two older brothers and two younger sisters. Despite the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was a young child, we’ve been a very close knit family since and keep in touch often. This type of family culture has not only created ease for me and my siblings; it has generated feelings of compassion for family get-togethers and has made us believe that anyone can get along no matter what circumstances prevail.  Unfortunately, many families don’t get to experience that same type of culture. In fact, it can be quite difficult for broken families to re mend the loss of some of its best qualities after a separation occurs. Understanding how close our family has become has made me grateful for being raised within it. Being a close knit family has allowed all family members to connect in a powerful way. I’ve learned many lessons through their experiences and through their guidance. In fact, I’m sure we’ve all taught each other a lesson or two throughout our lives. My observations over the years has taught me that each of us is driven by different motivations. For example: My oldest brother Shaine has interests in construction and building things, while my older brother Brock has interests in Policing. Whereas, I have very little interest in either of those careers. And, I'm quite confident they would say the same for my profession. We all have different factors that drive motivation. Another interesting thing that I learned through my siblings is the fact that each of us values money differently. These comparisons have led me to realize that the way we value money is equal to the value we place on ourselves.

Psychologists have studied the motivation and comparisons behind money and the human mind for years. It’s been known that money drives people in different ways. In fact, people generate different motivations for money as they progress through life. Our values, roles, beliefs and daily thoughts all contribute to our differentiating motivators of money and what it’s used for. Our definition of Money actually changes within our minds over time, and we associate different objects or meanings behind it through the process. There are a variety of different meanings for the term money. Most people associate money as a means to contribute to their current lifestyle – to pay the rising cost of living, or to provide for their families. There seems to be a general sense of what money means, however, after the obvious qualities are taken care of, we all seem to have different perspectives and varying beliefs of what it means to us, individually. We are motivated to spend it in different ways. Having a variety of different personalities roaming my household, including my parents and my brothers and sisters has allowed me to understand the differentiating factors behind the motivation of their spending habits. In fact, each of us spends money differently, which means that we not only have different beliefs about its purpose, but we also place different values upon ourselves.

Each of us wants different things in life. We desire different accomplishments and different experiences. This being said; each of us generates a different perspective of what creates ideal happiness. Many are driven to reach success if there is a financial pay-out for their efforts. They jump to the occasion even if it means overcoming obstacles and large fears. Money can be a great motivating factor. However, there are many other positive forms of motivation one can adhere to when accomplishing goals, like the motivation for accomplishment. Some may be strictly motivated to leave a mark on this Planet. Others may be motivated to travel or to raise a happy and healthy family. Again, each of us is motivated differently. The most common and rapidly growing motivators is materialism.

Money is needed to get by in society. We all know that. We all need jobs to keep up with the standard of living. Groceries are expensive, and gas prices I'd rather not even get into. Many fight “the ordinary” and find rewarding careers, or run successful businesses, all in all, the majority of us are working at our jobs or working away our careers for the financial benefit. The truth is; if the monetary system didn’t exist, our minds would be motivated by completely different factors. Perhaps the desire for passion, the desire of doing less work and spending more time with family, or even the desire to work in an industry that creates harmony for other cultures rather than the opposite more destructive society that we live in today. Maybe these things would create more joy in our minds.

Money represents so many different things to each of us. Often times, our views of money change as our values change, or as our friendships change. To some, it represents their hard work and accomplishments, whereas, for others, it represents security or financial wealth. Each of us defines money differently. In fact, The way we define money can tell us a lot about our beliefs. Your mind is a very powerful tool. It’s time to take advantage of its talents and use it to find the motivating factors behind your spending. Eliminate the negative attachments you hold against money and replace them with authority. No longer do you need to be ruled by your purchases. Companies want you to purchase their products, that's why they advertise the promise of satisfaction and relief. You’ll soon realize that beyond the purchase only lies resentment, high expenses and unhappiness. Plus, most of the time they never serve their promises of a simpler life upon the purchase.

Make a list of your daily purchases. Make note and take the time to find the motivation behind each purchase. Why do you purchase the things you do? Is it merely to relieve negative feelings inside your mind? Before the list is fully read you’ll have a clear understanding of where the motivation comes from. Once you find the motivating factors behind your purchases you can work towards eliminating your negative beliefs about money. Don’t succumb to any false advertisements or ill feelings of neediness. Only living in the moment can bring peace of mind and true lasting happiness.

It’s time to rid yourself of any ill associations of money and what it means to you. Negative associations will only lead to aggression in some form. Even though materialistic items may be fun to have, they’re merely there to keep the economy growing. Need I say again; inner peace only comes when one is content and happy with what they already have. True compassion is expressed when this is accomplished.

When you’re ready to search for the negative associations that you hold towards money, may I suggest the following exercise: Make a goal to eliminate all non-essential purchases. Every time your mind tells you to purchase something, ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” If it’s crucial for your survival definitely make the purchase; however, if the answer is, “Hell No, it’s not crucial for my survival,” then eliminate the thought altogether. It can be difficult to say No every time your eyes see something appealing, but it’s not impossible. It takes practice.

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Responsibilities vs priorities

Our souls are driven by hundreds of characteristics. These characteristics are the same for everyone however the potency of each individual characteristic is entirely different. Although we’re all made of the same matter, neither of us has the exact same characteristic blend. This means neither of us are bound to any specific lifestyle.

Each of us wants different things in life because we have differentiating beliefs and values. This is what makes life interesting. Life wouldn’t be very fun if we all wanted the exact same things; the same lifestyle, the same dreams, the same imagination, etc. Imagine what life would look like if everyone was driving the exact same vehicle, fighting for the exact same career, studying the exact same education. If this was the case I can assure you humans would suffer from much more than anxiety. Life itself simply wouldn’t be very appealing.

Ask yourself these questions, and be sure to write down everything that comes to your mind. This exercise will teach you more about yourself than you actually believed you knew.

    How do I view the society around me?
    How do I view myself? (Overall)
    How do I view my friends and closest influences?
    What makes me happy? What makes me tick?
    What are my passions?
    How deserving am I of having a quality life?
    What are my accomplishments?
    What am I grateful for in life?
    Who are my closest influences?
    Which of my influences were negative?
    What are three of my limiting beliefs?
    Where did they come from?

Once you’ve completed this exercise you’ll view your current perspective of reality a lot more clearly. This will enable you to see the areas where positive change is needed. Getting to know yourself is one of the fundamentals in becoming happy. I recommend coming back to this exercise often. The more you think about these questions the better you’ll understand yourself. The better you get to know yourself the better your life will be.

With a new perspective it’s easier to see where your priorities are, and which ones need to be tweaked. Without a balanced focus on your priorities you’re destined for failure. This is why this chapter is more important than you may realize. I bet you’re thinking, this happiness thing is a lot more difficult than I thought. Life is actually a lot more complicated than one would realize. It isn’t until we look into the logistics of all characteristics involved within our lives when we realize how in-depth it actually is. Priorities are another characteristic added to the realm.

Priorities define our accomplishments. They drive our mindset away from danger. Well, most of the time. They label what’s most important in our lives, and they persuade our thoughts too. Without priorities life wouldn’t be very organized. In fact, there would be much turmoil and a lot of dissatisfaction because the important things wouldn’t be looked after. As we all know, our priorities need to be maintained and adjusted. Things like spending time with family, friends, or working on your hobbies and passions. These are all things that need to be maintained because without them we’re nowhere.

If you break down your priorities you’ll see that your responsibilities are an active key component. In fact, your responsibilities are what shape your priorities. They help determine what’s most important. In essence they guide your priorities. We all have responsibilities. These come in various forms, but they’re all fairly similar amongst us. Responsibilities keep us aligned. They allow us to see stay grounded from ill activity. It’s important to balance them by prioritizing them. No one responsibility should take the front line of your perspective. A well balanced perspective is one that brings happiness.

Accepting the opportunities

The law of attraction is one very effective way to bring quality results into your life. We explored this in previous chapters. When practiced properly the Law of attraction generates life-changing opportunities. When this happens you need to be sure to take advantage of these opportunities they persist.

You see it in movies all the time. Mostly in comedies. Everyone’s seen the scene in Dumb and Dumber, at the end of the movie when they’re hitchhiking down the highway wishing they had an opportunity. Moments later a tour bus loaded with beautiful women stops beside them. The bus door opens and a woman says, “We are looking for a couple of guys to rub lotion on our bodies for our photoshoots. Do you know where can find them?” Jim Carrey’s response, “You’re in luck. There’s a town a few miles back where you’re bound to find them.” As the bus leaves they continue to walk down the highway wishing for an ideal opportunity. This is a clear example of a missed opportunity.

Opportunities are missed each and every day. In fact, each of our decisions hold missed opportunities because each decision has multiple outcomes. Who would’ve known if you had of made the other choice? I think about this question quite often actually. While I meditate I usually ask myself this question. It allows me to look at the situation in multiple perspectives. In fact, when I’m deciding to make a large choice in my life I always look at it from as many angles as possible. This allows me to generate the most appropriate choice based on my beliefs and values. Doing this also helps so I don’t miss life’s opportunities.

Opportunities come in a variety of forms. They’re filled with various experiences and provide endless possibilities. The best part about them is; there’s a good chance you can rekindle happiness through them. Opportunities allow us to transform our mindset and strengthen our beliefs and values. They generate new experiences and drive us to meet new people. They give us better financial possibilities and allow us to excel at our passions. Each and every opportunity provides a new way of looking at life.

All too often we miss opportunities that are staring us right in the face because we’re distracted in our current reality. Life gets comfortable quickly, and often times, we aren’t looking for opportunities because we are so caught up in our everyday fiasco of living. There’s no point in working towards positive change unless you’re willing to look for the opportunities when they present themselves. Opportunities exist when one is ready to make positive change. My favorite quote explains this perfectly, “When the student is ready to learn the teacher will be there.” Happiness resides in your missed opportunities. Don’t be naïve. Be ready for the opportunities when they unfold themselves.



Exercise: Look for the opportunities

There are many missed opportunities within our everyday movements. Often times we fail to see these opportunities because we are so focused on what’s normal. The abnormalities, which are opportunities disguised as discomfort are often overlooked because they’re exactly that; uncomfortable. If you haven’t already realized; this books message is all about perspective. It all depends on how you look at any given situation. As mentioned, a tweaked perspective can lead you to happiness quite quickly.

Over the next three weeks I want you to focus on missed opportunities. This is a visualization exercise that’ll help you see the missing pieces to happiness that’s staring directly at you.

When you wake up tomorrow, and for the next three weeks I want you to focus on your daily activities. Primarily on the abnormal things; things that aren’t a part of your everyday regimen. Find abnormal changes in your plans that guide you on a different path. I’m not talking about a change in traffic that forces you a different direction to work. I’m talking about an experience that changes your perspective about something. Perhaps a random email from a company offering you a new line of work, or an overseas vacation that’s offered from a close friend, or even as simple as a television program that inspires you to fulfill your passion. These come to us to entice positive change in our lives. They’re there to help us live better. It could be the girl or guy you had a crush on way back that comes back into your life somehow out of nowhere. These kinds of things are opportunities to experience a new lifestyle; a new way of thinking. They’re there to persuade us to a happier life. Make a mental note, or mark them down in your journal when you come across them. But, most of all, be sure to grasp onto them when they come into your life. They’re to help you shift your perspective.

Being grateful

Being grateful is the simplest way to raise your happiness meter. When you feel grateful for something your body emits hormones that make you feel good. When you feel good your body operates at a higher vibrational frequency. When you practice being grateful you become more wholesome and your values match the rhythm of your life’s tune. When this happens your happiness meter sky rockets. Everyone, no matter who you are, has many things to be grateful for. I use the term ‘things’ lightly because ‘things’ are generally perceived as materialistic objects. This is not what I’m referring to. In fact, the less material grateful you are the more wholesome you’ll be. Let’s focus on the more heartfelt approach to being grateful.

It’s easy to be grateful for something physical, like your car, or the home you live in. It’s easy because you can physically see the object which makes it easy to feel the happy emotions they bring. Unfortunately, materialism only causes more dissatisfaction. Obviously the car and home are staples to managing a lifestyle in today’s society. Well, maybe the house is a staple, the car could technically be done without. The point that I’m trying to make is that the materialistic items like the jewelry on your body, the toys your children play with, the products companies across the globe market to us, the faster car or bigger home, or even the greener grass. None of this is needed to live an optimal life. In fact, many of us get sucked into the tunnel of disappointment upon purchasing these products. They simply will not make you happy, period. Well, maybe for a short period, however, if you’re looking for lasting happiness you’ll need to focus less on the materialistic and more on the wholesome qualities of your life; like your siblings, your career or passions. There are plenty of non-materialistic things to be grateful for. You just need to tap into your creativity.

The best thing you can do to maintain being grateful is to create a mantra with the things you’re grateful for in life and repeat it daily. I can assure you you’ll start to appreciate life more every time you say it.

I say my grateful mantra at least three times per day every day. I often start my days off by saying it in the shower. I’ll say it again (in my head) on the way to work, and once again usually before I go to sleep at night, or after supper. Nowadays, I know my mantra like the back of my hand. I’ve said it to myself hundreds of times. It’s already been engrained into my mindset. In fact, often times, as soon as I get into the shower in the morning my head instantly starts reciting my mantra because my mind has been trained to recite it every I’m in that environment. Here’s how my mantra goes:

I’m grateful for my mother and father. I’m grateful for my brothers and sisters, friends and distant family. I’m grateful for my two daughters; Sophia and Olivia. I’m grateful for my wife Melanie, and all the opportunities that surround me every day. Lastly, I’m grateful for the materialistic things that make my life easier.

It’s simple to remember, and it makes me feel happier after reciting it every time. I’ll either say my mantra aloud or inside my head. It all depends where I am. When I’m frustrated with something in my life I’ll restate it. It allows me to stay level headed and balanced when I’m struck with a catastrophe. Note that I left the materialistic stuff to the end of the mantra. Hint: The fruit is in your relationships.

I recommend you write your own mantra. It’s super simple, and it comes with much reward. Here’s what you can do to start the process.

When you’re meditating ask yourself this question, “What am I grateful for in my life?”  Test your mind to delve deep into the reserves to find at least four qualities of your life (non-materialistic) that you’re grateful for. When you find four write them into a mantra similar to mine. Then practice saying the mantra to yourself at least three times every day. Soon, the magic of your own happiness will unfold right in front of you, just by being grateful.



Exercise: Positive focus

Another great way to raise your grateful meter is to complete a positive focus. This exercise requires only that; your positive focus. It’s a quick way to generate a healthy perspective of your past. Here’s what you’re going to do.

In a quiet comfortable environment sit as though you were getting ready to meditate. Take a few deep breaths to get ready. Try to clear your mind as much as possible. If any negative thoughts arise try to eliminate them altogether. You need a positive state for this exercise. When you’re ready, relax, and think back six months. In fast playback form, think of as many experiences as you can that happened in that period of time. Sift through all those images and find the accomplishments. This can be anything from starting a relationship to launching a business idea, being in the newspaper and everything in between. Focus on your accomplishments and you’ll be delighted to see how many happy memories exist within your mind, even just in the previous months. Be creative, and try to find at least six qualities; one for each month.

When you reminisce about something that makes you happy it builds confidence which is important for generating happiness. Remembering some of your happy times gives you that solid feeling that you’re on this Planet for a reason. This exercise is to help you understand that everyone has something to be grateful for in life, no matter who you are, or what hand you were dealt. Being grateful is one of the easiest ways to generate happiness in your heart.  You can do this through a positive focus.

My journey to Enlightenment

My pursuit to true enlightenment has taken over thirty years to accomplish. Even though, it seems like an easy feat to achieve, it’s something that takes time, practice and commitment to bring to fruition. Since I was a young, my mother taught me about spirituality and religion. At first, I didn’t have a strong desire to achieve any realm of spirituality. It wasn’t until I hit my late twenties; that’s when I decided to make a commitment towards forming a spiritual path in my life. I’ve recently grown to understand its benefits. Reading scriptures in the holy book and hundreds self-help books on spirituality has helped me understand life and its components a lot more clearly. Hundreds of stories of sacrifice and discipline have encouraged me to search for enlightenment within my own life. These stories have not only influenced my perspective of life, they have directed me to my own inner being – an understanding of who I am inside.

My first feeling of enlightenment came after I was able to eliminate all the hatred, remorse and negativity that surfaced my mind, much of which I discussed in The First Chapter. When I was able to do this, instantly, my mind became a lot clearer and I was able to live in the moment without putrid annoyances of my past. Feelings of joy, contentment and happiness surrounded me every day. It's something almost indescribable, but I know the feeling was very positive in nature. It came when I was able to eliminate any and all judgement towards myself and others. It came when my beliefs were in tune with my values, and it came with much discipline. Even though it took me years to release, I now know how to bring it back frequently. Being enlightened is an experience like no other. Here’s my experience:

I am standing on a lonely foothill just outside Calgary, Alberta and overlooking the mountains of Banff. It’s a spectacular sight. The warm breeze is melting the snow on the mountain tops. It’s nearing the end of Spring and the smells of summer are in the air. The aroma of the trees, flowers and fresh air is blissful. Fresh Spring mountain run-off is flowing through streams, creating a peaceful sound absorbed through my ears. The feelings that run through my body are radiant and overpower any negativity surrounding me. My mind is silent and no images are present. It’s as though I've faded into the Matrix. My body is peaceful and in a neutral state as I admire the environment around me. I gaze around, looking at all the beautiful sights, including the soft flowers that were created with near perfection and the pebbles underneath my feet. In fact, everything around me seems to be created with perfection. Even the bees flying through the air are created with such an amazing perfect complexion. I’m in awe of the magnificent sights. Joy runs through my veins and a feeling of happiness overwhelms my spirit. I’m truly living in the moment for the first time in my life. This feels like the perfect moment.

For the past three decades I was guided by misinformed beliefs that starved me of any fulfillment. I was searching for something that I thought would bring inner relief and satisfaction, without realizing that I was fighting an impossible mission. I kept delving deeper and deeper into my soul, trying to locate the feelings of happiness, but, no matter what I did I couldn't find contentment within myself. I felt empty inside and incomplete, but today was much different. I had finally given myself the opportunity to release the stress of society and join the relaxation of nature. I was living in the moment. It was exactly what I was looking for.

During my state of enlightenment, I had finally eliminated the need for affection of society. I got rid of my limiting beliefs that weighed me down and made me feel weak. I felt truly happy and excited all at once. It was such a relief. I finally felt in full control of my emotions, my beliefs and my own identity. No longer was I directed by any ill manifested images of unhappiness. My inner soul felt gravitated, like it was in its highest form of spirituality. As I stood there, overlooking the mountains of Banff, a slight chill ran through my body, however, I didn’t allow it to take form in any other way. It just added to the perfect moment that I was living. All negative thoughts of my past and future had subsided completely. As I heard the chirp of some passing birds, it sent my mind into a deeply relaxed state. It felt like I was daydreaming reality. As I focused on my breathing, I realized that my heart rate dropped significantly; compared to the vigorous state it was in while climbing the hill. I then took my focus off of the sights and sounds around me and focused only on my breathing. I paid attention to my heart rate. After a brief moment, my entire body started tingling. It’s was though a powerful energy was radiating throughout my entire soul. It felt amazing. I allowed the intense feeling of satisfaction to run through my body for as long as I could. For about five minutes, my mind was at complete peace. Moments later, my stop watch started beeping loudly and attracted my attention. I shook my head from the daze that it was in and instantly my mind fell back into reality. As I stood on the large foothill that day, I realized that, for the first time ever in my life, I had been truly enlightened.

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Beliefs and values

“In this world of over seven billion people, there are literally hundreds of millions of people that don’t ever experience the things that we take for granted every day.”

Our negative experiences help us live happier lives. Without them we couldn't differentiate between happiness and suffering. In fact, our biggest mistakes teach us the biggest life lessons. It's important to view all our experiences with open mind. In reality, no experience is either positive or negative; they just are. It's our differentiating beliefs, values and perspectives that determines whether an experience is either positive or negative in nature. Finding the positives in any situation is important to help increase our everyday happiness. Happiness resides in all of the experiences we live through; both positive and negative ones. Even the negative situations have their benefits. Knowing this can help you look at negative situations in a positive manner. It will help build a healthy belief system.

Happiness resides everywhere. It resides in the conversations with our coworkers and in traffic jams. It comes from our families and friendships. It even resides in the hardship that we've lived. In fact, it resides in every experience we live. Unfortunately very few see it that way. The majority of us are determined that happiness resides only within the latest technology or through our monthly pay cheque. This type of belief only leads to inner hardship.

When I was a young boy, as far as I can remember, I didn't see life through the same perspective as I do today. In fact, my views of the world are constantly changing. Each experience has helped me shape my inner beliefs and values. Through the years I've learned that harvesting positive beliefs of any kind helps inspire my passions and is one of the key fundamentals to finding true inner happiness. Weather your beliefs were taught in school, or if you picked them up from the pastor of your church, each of your beliefs assist you towards living a happy and truly content lifestyle.

We generate our beliefs through various forms. Mostly through our friends and closest relatives. These people are the ones we trust in. We believe nearly everything they say. However, even though a belief may have already been formed, it doesn't mean it is there to sty forever. You can simply replace it with something better. Taking a look at your own beliefs will help you determine where they were formed it in the first place. By acknowledging a belief, you're accenting it, enabling you to determine if it is in line with your current values. Much like our ever-changing beliefs; our values are changing just as rapidly. Sometimes we need a reality check to see if our beliefs and values are in line with the image we perceive our happiness to be.

What does your mind tell you to believe in? What self-defeating beliefs do you hold about yourself or the world around you? Start with eliminating them one at a time. You'll be glad you did.

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Religion and spirituality

Religion is a difficult subject to discuss, primarily because everyone has a different perspective on the subject. I understand that religion is a huge component in many lives; whereas, some are spiritual. Others have no religion whatsoever. The truth is; our beliefs are the key to unleashing happiness in our lives. Religion and spirituality can help you form positive beliefs so you can reach true happiness.

For years I dismissed religious thoughts and conversations from my conscious altogether. I wanted nothing to do with it. Every time I would listen in on a religious conversation between others I turned a blind eye because it always seemed to end with someone getting upset, even to the point of losing friendships. As I grew older, I saw war on the television, and I heard of a lot of religious racism on radio programs. It all seemed to blossom from religion and their differentiating beliefs. I never understood how one belief could cause so many ruckuses over an entire Nation. I’m not saying that religion is bad. I’m simply saying that there has been a lot of turmoil in the past, and a lot of it has stemmed from religion. There are however many great principles that religious studies share. These components can help you achieve happiness, success and many other great opportunities if you use them properly.

As I look back at my life and the experiences within it, I realize that a huge portion of it was lived without a conscious spiritual plan or specific beliefs. As I roam the experiences of my past, the question that serves my mind is this; is religion and spirituality really that important in one’s life? I pondered my thoughts for a moment. Here is my response:

I believe religion and spirituality can be very important to a person’s lifestyle, especially if they take it seriously (but not too seriously). It isn’t for everyone; however, for those that find it, if used properly, they can excel in life further than those that don’t. Spirituality can bring empowerment to those that listen to its life messages. Even though there's hundreds of different religions out there there's definitely one that will fit your lifestyle. It can help you find meaning in your life and strengthen your belief system. Remember, your beliefs shape your values. Your values keep you in line with  making positive lifestyle choices.

For many years I didn’t follow any specific religion. I still don’t. I’m strictly spiritual ... for now; until I find something that empowers me more than today. Heck, I might even wake up one Saturday morning and change my beliefs altogether after opening the door to a door to door salesman who sold me his religion. My beliefs come from inspiration all over the place, and from every walk of life. I learn little life messages from almost everyone that I meet. In fact, I make a point to absorb as much information from each person that empowers me. In your own trek to finding meaning in your life I suggest researching a variety of religious and spiritual outlets. Each one has different views upon society. For some, spirituality is essential to creating optimal happiness.

You make the choice ... It's your life!

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Accepting life for what it is

Life is best described as a board game. There are a series of challenges that we must face within our lives in order to move forward in a positive direction. A board game is similar. We, as players within the game, all have two similar things in common; we all want to achieve happiness and neither of us wants to suffer. Even though, happiness (moving forward in the game) doesn’t come easily, and suffering (losing at the game) is evident for everyone at times, it’s the choices that we make within the game that reflect our belief system. For most, they dabble through their lives without an ounce of passion, or they play the game without any ambition. Each of us moves forward facing daily obstacles. These obstacles create both opportunities and limitations. Some become defeated and lose their confidence when faced with an obstacle, whereas, for others, they embrace each obstacle as a learning experience and use it as leverage to make further advancement, thus being able to lead the game. Some hold onto their past experiences, while others gravitate towards the future. The player who is able to maintain a balance between past and futuristic thinking will be able to make quicker and healthier decisions. Meanwhile, most of us fail to realize the true meaning of the game – to be enlightened and to do your best to enjoy every moment. No matter how we approach the game of life, it’s important to accept it for what it is.

Life for many can be bleak, boring and full of limitations that make it seem near worthless, while, for others, they wake up each day with the satisfying feeling that they were given life in the first place. Being grateful is no common ground for these two people. One gravitates towards positivity because they expel it and they see life in a positive realm, while the other attracts only negative influences and experiences because they radiate negativity. In fact, for those that attract only negativity into their lives, they’re also filled with an abundance of limitations and further obstacles, which makes it even more difficult to become enlightened. These people reek of inner sadness, harness remorse and anger, in fact, nobody can force them out of their dull cave of emptiness. Whereas, those that wake up eager for the day to begin and are excited to approach new experiences have found the inner joys of society and the environment around them. Things like friends, passions, nature and everything around them become joyous. They create daily goals that make the game more interesting. They plan their lives for success – financially, spiritually and for their families. The difference between the two is quite drastic. One is constantly embraced with an outer security shell, while the other isn’t even protected by its own master. Their inner confidence is like night and day in comparison, and their perspective of how they see the world is completely opposite. The main difference between the two is this; one will achieve a heightened level of gratification through their experiences, while the other is missing so many fundamentals, it’s likely their souls will die inside well before they pass away in real life. It’s actually quite sad.

By looking at life in terms of a board game, one can see the differences between the two types of players. One looks at life as an opportunity, while the other looks at it as an ongoing battle filled with harshness. It’s evident that the negative thinkers will only continue to bring upon negative results because their minds are trained to look for only the negatives, while, for the positive goal-seeking people, they’re destined for happiness because their minds are programmed for success. Each of us approaches life a little differently. Even though, we’re playing the same game, we make different choices and learn different lessons through our experiences. Fortunately, for the people that see the world as a positive environment, they will be placed amongst the higher realm of happiness, while, for the people that dwell upon negativity, they will continue the same bleak trek in life but with many more struggles.

Life can be very complex at times, especially when one is overwhelmed with demands and negativity. Amongst the complexity of life is fulfillment. As often as life sends us obstacles, it sends us opportunities. These opportunities come a lot easier for those that are enlightened (in a positive state), however, they’re offered to everyone with the same magnitude. Opportunities help us reach inner fulfillment. Without them, we cannot foresee future success. The good news is; they’re available to everyone and surround our every movements, however, many fail to see them because they’re wrapped up in their own defeated mindset.

Each experience that we go through in life offers potential to open opportunities. These can come in the form of relationships, business transactions and spiritual growth. No two experiences are the same, which means that no two opportunities are the same. In fact, our experiences affect us in some of the most profound ways. Many times, it’s easy to differentiate between positive and negative experiences; however, each experience, weather in positive or negative in form, will provide some form of opportunity. Sometimes negative experiences provide us with the biggest and best opportunities. In fact, we learn the best life lessons when we face defeat. When you’re ready for an opportunity, it will present itself to you, however, if you’re not ready for it, your mind won’t even notice the slightest opportunity within your presence. Even though, opportunities usually present themselves during the least expected times, they can be brought by projecting positive thoughts into the environment. When you express your needs to the environment, it will do what it takes to position the right opportunity in front of you. Any religious or spiritual believer knows this. It works the exact same in any situation – a job, wealth, relationships, health, happiness or spiritual growth.

Experiences are neither positive nor negative, they just are. All experiences can be looked at as both positive and negative. It all depends on the perspective you see them through. One person may see an experience as negative, whereas, another person may find only positive qualities within the same experience. In fact, many people make a subliminal point to seek only the positives, or just the negative traits within an experience. It all depends on how their minds were trained in their upbringing. Thinking fully in negative or positive terms can be detrimental to your psyche. If one is to look only for the positives in each experience, they will miss out on many great learning experiences. People that only seek the negative qualities within their experiences; they will live a boring life filled with mediocrity. Every experience harnesses both positive and negative qualities. Even the opportunities that seem one hundred percent positive in nature; they too harness negative qualities, and vice versa for negative experiences. From this perspective, one begins to realize that life is one hundred percent a game of mindset.

Some people take life as it comes, while others are still complaining about what happened to them yesterday. If we hold onto our past and constantly play images from our pasts in our minds, it will only bring feelings of sadness, anger and hostility. Those that live in the present moment and embrace each day; they will be filled with a tremendous inner relief. Complainers have their minds set to focus on the negative aspects of each situation, whereas, those that refrain from such wasteful thinking have set their mindsets to think in positive terms, even in the most crucial and devastating situations. By thinking in positive terms, you are freeing your mind to live in the moment and enjoy the experience. All too often, people’s complaints follow them well into their days and linger within their minds until they fall asleep at night. In fact, their problems and worries irritate them all day long until they find some other form of relief. Many of us fail to realize the damage this may cause. This irritation causes disease, discomfort and further negativity.

It takes practice, motivation, inspiration, and a great deal of inner strength to forge our lives in a positive realm as we pursue enlightenment; however, one can find truth about themselves and gain powerful insight into their psyche if they're committed to living in the moment. Only those that remain committed will feel the mental release that I’m talking about. To reach full inner enlightenment, it takes the entire removal of one’s negative past history. It means delving deep inside your inner soul, locating the negative traits, while replacing them with positive ones. As mentioned, we grow different perceptions through our lives; we need to constantly replace old limiting beliefs to form positive perceptions of our environment. The way we see the world around us directly reflects the way we see ourselves. It’s all connected to our values and beliefs. Those that harness a negative view upon society will most likely never be satisfied, whereas, those that have forged through the negativity and see the world as a wonderful place to live, they will reap the opportunities and positive qualities that life offers. It’s all in the way you train your mind to think.

It’s important to reprogram your mind to believe in the possibilities, rather than dwelling upon the past. It’s even more important to accept life for what it is. This will allow you to move in a positive direction and embrace the current moment – the only moment that’s important. Get rid of any ill beliefs you hold about yourself and about the world around you. Accept the Universe for what it is, and accept the fact that there are going to be many ups and down in your life. Remember, you are the one that determines your feelings towards every experience you live through. We’re all wired the exact same way, yet we harness different beliefs in our minds. Our differentiating beliefs alter our perception of the world and the way we see ourselves. If you harness any negative beliefs, or if you struggle with limitations that you’ve put upon yourself, do your absolute best to overcome them. You can start by reliving your past experiences in your mind. By reliving your past – no matter what you’ve gone through, you’re accepting the world for what it is. When you can accept your life for what it is, your life will be taken to its highest realm – spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Your life isn’t going to get any better if you don’t take charge of it yourself.



“When you can accept your life for what it is, your life will be taken to its highest realm – spiritually, mentally and emotionally.”

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Self defeating habits

Our beliefs are the key to our happiness. That's why it's important to select beliefs that are positive in nature; ones that inspire and encourage you to be the best you can be. Our beliefs also shape our perspective of the way we see reality. There are many different factors that come into play when selecting our beliefs. Religion, education, friends and family are some examples of a few influences within our belief system. Even though many of our beliefs were learned through our life experiences; it's the lessons we've learned in our childhood that are the most crucial to the development of our minds. In fact, they hang onto our minds for the longest period of time.  if you were to find a belief of yours, any belief. If you analyzed it in every realm, I can almost guarantee the belief could be traced back to your early past as a child. Knowing this may suggest that somehow along the line we have grasped onto a few negative beliefs. These beliefs have led to negative habits; habits that beat up your mind.

It's important to rid ourselves of all self-defeating habits as soon as they form. These negative habits cause immense damage to our psyche. When you glance at your daily regime, do you notice any habits that take away from the quality of your life? Here are some examples that will give you an idea what I'm talking about: smoking cigarettes, overeating, drug abuse, medication abuse, watching too much television, playing too many video games, procrastination, hating yourself, holding onto past mistakes. Are there any reciprocating habits that drag you down and cause you to belittle yourself? Do you have any habits that push you off course of your life plan? Wouldn't it be great if you could eliminate all of these self-defeating habits? Could you imagine the amount of free time, energy and freedom you would receive when you finally rid yourself from all of these habits?

Make your life a priority. Take the time to eliminate your self-defeating habits one at a time. It will change your life dramatically in a positive way.

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